Hi,<\/p>\n
You know that I always try to encourage you as a supporter of a loved one with bipolar disorder.<\/p>\n
But at the same time\u2026I also know how difficult a role that can be, because I know how hard a time I had when I was trying to help my mom before she was diagnosed. Even after she was diagnosed, it was still hard to bring her to where she was stable\u2026And then to where she could be independent and not depend on me so much. So I can surely relate to a lot of the issues that bipolar supporters write to me about. But I got an email recently that I wanted to share with<\/p>\n
you and to talk a little about.<\/p>\n
Here\u2019s what she said:<\/p>\n
\u201c\u2026I have NOT had any contact with my sister for years. When I DID find out that she had the symptoms of BiPolar and was seeing a psychiatrist, she denied everything. So, I never mentioned it again nor do I stay in contact with her. She was definitely in denial and she\u2019s NEVER listened<\/p>\n
to me nor taken my advice (she only wanted money) so, I told other family members that they should get involved with her & find out the root of her problems. I DO think her husband has a disability (as well), but I don\u2019t know if it\u2019s Bi Polar. They have lived away from the rest of the family for years and never discusses their health issues. They only contact my brothers when they need money (which seems to be quite frequent, these past few years). I tried to find out the REAL truth (but since I won\u2019t give her any money, she doesn\u2019t stay in contact with me)to<\/p>\n
her depression issues: constantly out of work, constantly moving from apartment to apartment, asking for money, etc. however, she was NOT going to discuss her problems with ME nor was she able to talk about her illness. When SHE DID ask my brother for some help, he did\u2019nt<\/p>\n
think nor did he take her seriously and brushed her off \u2013 giving her MORE of an insecurity complex & I would have just made her feel MORE insecure had I gotten involved. So, for years, NO ONE wants to help her and I REALLY feel bad about the situation. But, I can\u2019t get her to talk to me about her illness\/insecurity issues, not to mention she lives states away from me. I DO<\/p>\n
want to help her but if she doesn\u2019t want to help herself 1st, I don\u2019t feel I can do much about her problems unless she is willing to confide in me \u2013 AND THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN!\u201d<\/p>\n
———————————————————————————————————————<\/p>\n
This is a really sad story. But so many times, you have a situation where you have a sibling who has bipolar disorder and they push their family away. Or they even destroy their relationships with their family because of their bipolar disorder. That could be one of the issues that\u2019s going on here. But one of the first things that this woman in the email talks about is one of the things I also often talk about: DENIAL. It\u2019s a pretty big issue when it comes to bipolar disorder.<\/p>\n
Another thing she brought up in the email is that when her sister wouldn\u2019t respond to her offers of help, she \u201ctold other family members that they should get involved with her & find out the root of her problems.\u201d The point here is that sometimes your loved one won\u2019t respond to you, but they will respond to someone else. So sometimes, for the sake of your loved one, you may<\/p>\n
have to step aside.<\/p>\n
She said in the email: \u201cWhen I DID find out that she had the symptoms of BiPolar and was seeing a psychiatrist, she denied everything.\u201d It\u2019s hard to be a supporter to a loved one with bipolar disorder when they won\u2019t even admit that they have the disorder to begin with. And like in this case, they can even be seeing a psychiatrist for it, but if they are in denial, the treatment won\u2019t be effective. The best we can hope for in this case is that although she was in denial with her sister, hopefully she was at least being honest with her psychiatrist. Because some people with bipolar disorder will do that \u2013 they will push away their family members, but still accept treatment from strangers.<\/p>\n
But here\u2019s the main point: She says this in her email at the end: \u201cI DO want to help her but if she doesn\u2019t want to help herself 1st, I don\u2019t feel I can do much about her problems.\u201d Yes, it\u2019s true that her sister does have bipolar disorder, but she still does have to reach out for help, and there are things she can do to help herself. The thing is that she has to WANT that help. This woman makes a good point: If your loved one does not WANT to help themselves first, there really isn\u2019t much you can do about their problems.<\/p>\n
Well, I have to go!<\/p>\n
Your Friend,<\/p>\n
Dave<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Hi,<\/p>\n
You know that I always try to encourage you as a supporter of a loved one with bipolar disorder.<\/p>\n
But at the same time\u2026I also know how difficult a role that can be, because I know how hard a time I had when I was trying to help my mom before she was diagnosed. Even after she was diagnosed, it was still hard to bring her to where she was stable\u2026And then to where she could be independent and not depend on me so much.<\/p>\n