Hi,<\/p>\n
Remember back in school, how there were all those different kids in class? There was the teacher\u2019s pet, of course. Then there was the class trouble maker. Then there was the class \u201cdunce.\u201d Then there was the class clown. Then there was the popular kid. And the one who seemed as if everything came so easy to him (or her), even those A\u2019s. You may have been one of those kids I just talked about. You may even have been the one who got those easy A\u2019s. Or you may have been someone who had to study real hard for the grades you got.<\/p>\n
If your parents were good parents, they probably told you that just trying your best was all they<\/p>\n
asked for. Well, I think that should ring true in life as well. Especially if you\u2019re supporting a loved one who has bipolar disorder. You have so many responsibilities when you\u2019re a<\/p>\n
bipolar supporter, and sometimes it can be really hard. So sometimes just doing your best is all we can ask of you.<\/p>\n
But then you might say: \u201cBut what if my best isn\u2019t good enough?\u201d I\u2019ve talked to many supporters who have felt that way. They feel like they\u2019re doing their best to be the best supporter they can be to their loved one with bipolar disorder, but their loved one doesn\u2019t respond in the way they think they should. Well, I\u2019ve got a few things to say to that.<\/p>\n
For one thing, there are some things over which you have control, and other things over which<\/p>\n
you have no control. And one of the things you DON\u2019T have control over is your loved one. So you could be trying your best, you could even BE the best bipolar supporter in the whole world\u2026 but you still have no control over how your loved one is going to react to your efforts.<\/p>\n
The bottom line is that they still suffer from bipolar disorder. And it\u2019s going to make them do things that THEY don\u2019t have control over. Like their bipolar episodes and the things they do during them, for example.<\/p>\n
What I\u2019m saying is that your loved one may do something during, say, a bipolar manic episode<\/p>\n
that they definitely wouldn\u2019t do if they weren\u2019t in an episode. Then the next thing you know\u2026<\/p>\n
You\u2019re reacting in anger over something they do in that episode, such as excessive spending.<\/p>\n
And the problem is, usually they don\u2019t even remember it after the episode is over! Well, you can\u2019t take that personally, or think that it\u2019s because of you or a reflection on your ability as a supporter, because it isn\u2019t \u2013 it\u2019s just part of their bipolar disorder.<\/p>\n
Another thing is\u2026You need to be realistic about your expectations of both your loved one and yourself. You may think you\u2019re doing an excellent job as a supporter, but your loved one isn\u2019t getting better as quick as you think they should, for example. Well, this could have nothing to do with your role as a supporter. It could just be that everyone is different, and everyone recovers at their own pace \u2013 your loved one may just be recovering slower than someone<\/p>\n
else. The important thing is not to compare them to anyone else and to have realistic expectations of them. Also, be realistic of your expectations of yourself as well. Don\u2019t look upon their slow recovery as a reflection of how poorly a job you\u2019re doing as a bipolar supporter, as that is most likely not accurate. I\u2019m sure you\u2019re doing a great job! The important thing is that YOU realize that you\u2019re doing a great job. You just can\u2019t expect yourself to be perfect, or to<\/p>\n
compare yourself to anyone else, either. And you certainly can\u2019t measure your ability to be a good supporter by how quickly your loved one recovers. All you can do is to do your best, remember? Just like back in school. The same goes in life, and in your role as a supporter to your loved one with bipolar disorder.<\/p>\n
So\u2026 lower your expectations if they\u2019re too high, or make them more realistic if they\u2019re unrealistic now. Maybe all it takes is an adjustment in your thinking or the way you\u2019re looking at things.<\/p>\n
Well, I have to go!<\/p>\n
Your Friend,<\/p>\n
Dave<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Hi,<\/p>\n
Remember back in school, how there were all those different kids in class? There was the teacher\u2019s pet, of course. Then there was the class trouble maker. Then there was the class \u201cdunce.\u201d Then there was the class clown. Then there was the popular kid. And the one who seemed as if everything came so easy to him (or her), even those A\u2019s. You may have been one of those kids I just talked about.<\/p>\n