{"id":449,"date":"2008-12-09T08:31:17","date_gmt":"2008-12-09T12:31:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bipolarcentral.com\/bipolarsupporterblog\/?p=449"},"modified":"2009-03-12T02:13:40","modified_gmt":"2009-03-12T06:13:40","slug":"you-have-to-take-a-strong-stand-with-bipolar","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.bipolarsupporter.com\/bipolarsupporterblog\/you-have-to-take-a-strong-stand-with-bipolar\/","title":{"rendered":"You Have to Take a Strong Stand with Bipolar"},"content":{"rendered":"

Hi,<\/p>\n

I hope your day is going well.<\/p>\n

Oh, yesterday I forgot to put the link into the blog message so you could type responses. Sorry about that. These days I have had to do so many things because so many people are ill in this organization it’s amazing. Two people with cancer. Another with kidney problems. Several with the flu.<\/p>\n

Anyway, I have had to pick up the slack and it means I get little sleep : ) So again sorry.<\/p>\n

Much of my message today I’m going to let Elisabeth tell you. She wrote me an email that pretty much spells out the story, so I’ll let her say it: “…After several weeks of taking the opportunity to hear about your experiences and the experiences of others who post on this forum, I feel far less anxiety and far less disruption from the actions of my boyfriend. In July, I was encouraged to file a Temporary Restraining Order against him due to his upsetting and erratic behavior towards me. Yes, much of it driven by his anger which I\u00a0 finally took a stand against. I would like to include that as a victim of a previous traumatic experience I was very closely guided by the counselors and advocates whom I’ve depended upon in taking this type of action. I did not trust my own feelings or instincts about what was occurring which is why I contacted my counselor advocates – to get clear feedback on my perspective.<\/p>\n

And, yes, he is angry with me for taking a stand and releasing myself from him and this relationship. I’m ok with my own life and being back on my own path again. There are some differences in my own nature and, in fact, there are a few other people with whom I’ve needed to and been able to set clearer boundaries. Persons who are close to me are enjoying, once again, my company, my smile and my self-assuring nature – and they don’t expect anything except my friendship in return. This is true validation.<\/p>\n

Thank you for the opportunity to participate. Your feedback is always welcome.<\/p>\n

Sincerely,
\nElisabeth<\/p>\n

——————————————————————-<\/p>\n

Well, as you know, I’m not a doctor, psychiatrist, therapist, or any other kind of medical or mental health professional, so I can’t give any kind of advice.<\/p>\n

But Elisabeth just asked for my feedback, and that I can give.<\/p>\n

I think we can all take a lesson from this woman, and the lesson is this: If you are a supporter there are many times you have to take a strong stand. Now, I am NOT saying to run right out and take out a restraining order on your loved one, so don’t get me wrong. Not everyone is in Elisabeth’s position (although if you are, you need to do what you need to do to protect yourself).<\/p>\n

In my courses\/systems below, I talk about setting boundaries. This is one of the things you have to do to be strong.<\/p>\n

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
\nVisit:
\nhttp:\/\/www.bipolarsupporter.com\/report11<\/a><\/p>\n

SUPPORTING A CHILD\/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
\nVisit:
\nhttp:\/\/www.bipolarparenting.com<\/a><\/p>\n

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
\nVisit:
\nhttp:\/\/www.survivebipolar.net<\/a><\/p>\n

There is a difference between acceptable and unacceptable behavior – between what you will tolerate from your loved one and what you will NOT tolerate.<\/p>\n

Your loved one, like Elisabeth’s may exhibit what she called “upsetting and erratic behavior” towards you. If so, you need to take a strong stand.<\/p>\n

And then you need to stick to those boundaries. You need to set boundaries between what you will take and what you won’t take in their treatment of you.Believe it or not, just because your loved one has a mental disorder\/illness doesn’t mean you have to treat them any different than you would anyone else in a relationship. You don’t have to feel sorry for them.<\/p>\n

And you deserve to be treated just as “normal” as you would in any other relationship.<\/p>\n

Sometimes that means that you have to take a strong stand. Even if that means standing up to your loved one.<\/p>\n

Some supporters won’t do this because they’re afraid they’re going to push their loved ones into a bipolar episode.<\/p>\n

Trust me, your loved one (most likely) is not that fragile. You would’ve seen signs of that long before this.<\/p>\n

And if they are, they’re probably just using their bipolar disorder as an excuse to treat you that way.<\/p>\n

Don’t let them get away with poor treatment of you. Set boundaries.<\/p>\n

Tell them how you want to be treated.<\/p>\n

Tell them how you DON’T want to be treated.<\/p>\n

Take a strong stand.<\/p>\n

Then stick to your boundaries. What do you think of this all?<\/p>\n

FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME
\nVisit: http:\/\/www.bipolarcentral.com\/testimonials<\/a><\/p>\n

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide \u201cBipolar Disorder\u2014The REAL Silent Killer.\u201d Click Here<\/span><\/a><\/strong> to get FREE Information<\/strong> sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Hi,<\/p>\n

I hope your day is going well.<\/p>\n

Oh, yesterday I forgot to put the link into the blog message so you could type responses. Sorry about that. These days I have had to do so many things because so many people are ill in this organization it’s amazing. Two people with cancer. Another with kidney problems. Several with the flu.<\/p>\n

Anyway, I have had to pick up the slack and it means I get little sleep : ) So again sorry.<\/p>\n

Continue Reading<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nYou Have to Take a Strong Stand with Bipolar - Bipolar Supporter Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"http:\/\/www.bipolarsupporter.com\/bipolarsupporterblog\/you-have-to-take-a-strong-stand-with-bipolar\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"You Have to Take a Strong Stand with Bipolar - Bipolar Supporter Blog\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Hi, I hope your day is going well. Oh, yesterday I forgot to put the link into the blog message so you could type responses. Sorry about that. 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