Hi,<\/p>\n
Do you remember back in school? Who was your most favorite teacher? Why? Who was your least favorite teacher? Why? I bet I know the answers! I bet they\u2019re the same as mine: I bet your most favorite teacher was the one who made the material the most interesting\u2026And your least favorite teacher was the one who just lectured the material and made the class so boring you just wanted to scream and run out of the classroom!<\/p>\n
I\u2019ll even go you a step further\u2026I bet the times that your parents were the most understanding to you were the times you felt they listened to you the best\u2026Instead of just lecturing you. Am I right? The point is that lecturing doesn\u2019t work. If you think of your own experiences, you can back me up on that.<\/p>\n
Many times I have talked about the different methods that work and that DON\u2019T work when you\u2019re dealing with a loved one with bipolar disorder, and just lecturing your loved one is one of the methods that definitely does NOT work. I mean, put yourself in your loved one\u2019s shoes.<\/p>\n
You wouldn\u2019t want to be just lectured all the time, would you? You would start to resent the other person, the one who was lecturing you. Just like you resented that boring teacher back in<\/p>\n
school who just lectured all the time and didn\u2019t make the class interesting.<\/p>\n
You see\u2026There\u2019s an old saying that: \u201cYou can lead a horse to water\u2026but you can\u2019t make him drink.\u201d But someone added an adage to that saying: \u201cBut you can add salt to his diet so that he gets thirsty and wants to drink that water.\u201d Interesting, huh? In other words, when applied to bipolar disorder, you can look at it this way: You can\u2019t MAKE your loved one do anything. And certainly lecturing them won\u2019t help anything. But you can make them WANT to do things for<\/p>\n
themselves. You can provide incentives, for example.<\/p>\n
Like, say they\u2019ve been depressed. And they\u2019ve been laying around in bed or on the couch for awhile. And you haven\u2019t been able to get them to do anything productive (which is at least part of the reason why they\u2019re depressed to begin with). You can give them a To-Do List, and tell them that after they\u2019re finished doing what\u2019s on the list, the two of you can go out to eat at a restaurant of their choice. Or, if that doesn\u2019t fit into your budget\u2026You can offer to cook them their favorite meal. But you understand that if you just gave them the list and told them to do the things on it\u2026They would probably be resentful of it and not do it (perhaps even out of rebellion)\u2026Because nobody likes being told what to do. Just like nobody likes being lectured.<\/p>\n
But everybody likes doing things for incentives, or rewards.<\/p>\n
Here\u2019s another example: There was a couple where the husband had bipolar disorder. And he had had a problem with excessive spending before because of it, and a general problem with managing money. So his wife was basically managing the money. So she started off with giving him an \u201callowance\u201d of only $10 per week\u2026But as he got better with his money management\u2026<\/p>\n
She started giving him $20 per week. Do you see how incentives and rewards are better than<\/p>\n
just lecturing?<\/p>\n
Well, I have to go!<\/p>\n
Your Friend,<\/p>\n
Dave<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Hi,<\/p>\n
Do you remember back in school? Who was your most favorite teacher? Why? Who was your least favorite teacher? Why? I bet I know the answers! I bet they\u2019re the same as mine: I bet your most favorite teacher was the one who made the material the most interesting\u2026And your least favorite teacher was the one who just lectured the material and made the class so boring you just wanted to scream and run out of the classroom!<\/p>\n