Hi,<\/p>\n
Have you ever seen a horse race? They send out \u201cSparky,\u201d and the horses all follow it, in a straight line, right to the finish line, hoping to be the first one there. If a horse were to change direction in the middle of the race, why, obviously, they would lose the race. There\u2019s a common adage that a horse can\u2019t change direction in the middle of a stream. But I\u2019m here to tell you today that I believe that sometimes it\u2019s necessary for you to. I think that sometimes you can and should change directions in the middle of the stream when you\u2019re coping and dealing with a loved one with bipolar disorder. Why? Because what if what you\u2019re doing isn\u2019t working? And what if you\u2019re really, really frustrated because of it? What if your loved one isn\u2019t getting any better? What if your relationship with them is suffering because of it? What if you\u2019re even questioning if you\u2019re a good supporter? What if it\u2019s even making you sick because of it?<\/p>\n
These are all things you need to take into consideration when wondering if what you\u2019re doing is working or not.<\/p>\n
There is a saying that: \u201cIf nothing changes, nothing changes.\u201d In other words\u2026If what you\u2019re doing doesn\u2019t change anything\u2026Then what you\u2019re doing isn\u2019t effective. So you need to change directions. You need to try something different.<\/p>\n
For example: CASE STUDY:<\/p>\n
Betty\u2019s husband Jim had bipolar disorder. He had a problem with going into bipolar depressive<\/p>\n
episodes. When he would go into one, he would go onto the couch for weeks at a time, and no<\/p>\n
matter what Betty did, he would not get off the couch. This would make her really mad. So mad<\/p>\n
that she would yell at him. Which would just make him even more depressed. Feeling sorry for himself, he would stay on the couch even longer. One day, Betty didn\u2019t yell at Jim. Instead, she told him, \u201cJim, I feel bad for you that you\u2019re so depressed. I hate that you spend so much time on the couch doing nothing. It makes me feel so helpless. I feel like a terrible supporter. I wish there was something I could do to help you.\u201d And she cried. When Jim saw Betty crying, he felt bad for her (worse than he felt for himself), and he started talking to her, like he never had before. The lines of communication were opened again, and they started talking about what they could do together to fight Jim\u2019s bipolar depressions.<\/p>\n
———————————————————————————————————————<\/p>\n
What was the difference? Betty changed directions. She stopped yelling at Jim and instead she talked to him and told him how she felt. What she had been doing wasn\u2019t working, so she<\/p>\n
tried something different. And it worked! Jim felt bad for her, and he opened up. And the lines of communication opened up, and together they worked out a plan to fight his bipolar depressions. The point was that because what she had been doing (yelling at him) wasn\u2019t working, so she tried something different (talking to him). Maybe that\u2019s what you should do.<\/p>\n
Ask yourself the questions I pointed out at the beginning of this email. If what you\u2019re doing isn\u2019t effective, consider changing direction and trying something different with your loved one like Betty did.<\/p>\n
Well, I have to go!<\/p>\n
Your Friend,<\/p>\n
Dave<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Hi,<\/p>\n
Have you ever seen a horse race? They send out \u201cSparky,\u201d and the horses all follow it, in a straight line, right to the finish line, hoping to be the first one there. If a horse were to change direction in the middle of the race, why, obviously, they would lose the race. There\u2019s a common adage that a horse can\u2019t change direction in the middle of a stream. But I\u2019m here to tell you today that I believe that sometimes it\u2019s necessary for you to.<\/p>\n