Hi,<\/p>\n
Have you ever said anything like this?<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen I get older\u2026I can get my first boy\/girlfriend.\u201d Or \u201cWhen I get older\u2026 I can get my own car.\u201d Or \u201cWhen I get older\u2026I can graduate high school.\u201d Or \u201cWhen I get older\u2026I can go to college.\u201d Or \u201cWhen I get older\u2026I can move out of the house and be on my own.\u201d Or \u201cWhen I get older\u2026 I can do what I want.\u201d Or \u201cWhen I get older\u2026 I can get my own house.\u201d Or \u201cWhen I get older\u2026 I can get married.\u201d Or \u201cWhen I get older\u2026 I can have children of my own.\u201d Or \u201cWhen I get older\u2026I\u2019ll be a better parent than my parents were.\u201d Or \u201cWhen I get older\u2026I\u2019m going to have a great job.\u201d Or \u201cWhen I get older\u2026I\u2019m going to make lots of money.\u201d And on and on and on\u2026<\/p>\n
Did any\/many of these statements come true? Did they happen the way you imagined they<\/p>\n
would happen?<\/p>\n
Statements like these are part of what is called the Maturity Myth. It is an indication that you are not dealing with things as they are, but instead, how you would rather that things would be. Dealing with things as they are (instead of how you want them to be) is one of the things you need to learn in order to deal with bipolar disorder.<\/p>\n
The Maturity Myth can really hurt someone with bipolar disorder. It can keep them wishing for something they can never have. In fact\u2026At worst\u2026It can endorse the grandiose thoughts they might have during a manic episode\u2026And keep that manic episode going on longer than it should. It would make it harder for the person with bipolar disorder to recover from any episode, in fact.<\/p>\n
For example\u2026The Maturity Myth can make a person with bipolar disorder depressed\u2026<\/p>\n
Because what happens with the Maturity Myth is\u2026Once you reach that [whatever stage] when you say the magic words of \u201cWhen I get older\u2026\u201d And you find out that, indeed, things are NOT the way you thought they would be\u2026You will be disappointed at least\u2026And depressed at most.<\/p>\n
So it is totally feasible that someone with bipolar disorder would go into a bipolar depressive episode when they got to that mark in their Maturity Myth.<\/p>\n
So the only thing you can do to battle this is\u2026To stay realistic. You have to practice mindfulness. This is something that your loved one may actually learn in therapy, whether it is called that or not. It is actually a principle taught in Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, used mostly with people who have borderline personality disorder, but is being used now with people<\/p>\n
who have bipolar disorder as well. Mindfulness is when you learn to deal with what is, instead of what you would like. In other words, you deal with things the way they are, instead of how you would like them to be.<\/p>\n
Well, I have to go!<\/p>\n
Your Friend,<\/p>\n
Dave<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Hi,<\/p>\n
Have you ever said anything like this?<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen I get older\u2026I can get my first boy\/girlfriend.\u201d Or \u201cWhen I get older\u2026 I can get my own car.\u201d Or \u201cWhen I get older\u2026I can graduate high school.\u201d Or \u201cWhen I get older\u2026I can go to college.\u201d Or \u201cWhen I get older\u2026I can move out of the house and be on my own.\u201d Or \u201cWhen I get older\u2026 I can do what I want.\u201d Or \u201cWhen I get older\u2026 I can get my own house.\u201d Or \u201cWhen I get older\u2026 I can get married.\u201d Or \u201cWhen I get older\u2026 I can have children of my own.\u201d Or \u201cWhen I get older\u2026I\u2019ll be a better parent than my parents were.\u201d Or \u201cWhen I get older\u2026I\u2019m going to have a great job.\u201d Or \u201cWhen I get older\u2026I\u2019m going to make lots of money.\u201d And on and on and on\u2026<\/p>\n
Did any\/many of these statements come true?<\/p>\n