Hi,<\/p>\n
There are several sayings about other people compared to you. Here are just a couple that you may have heard: \u201cIt\u2019s hard to soar with the eagles when you\u2019re down here with the turkeys.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen everyone around you is losing their heads and you\u2019re the only one who isn\u2019t\u2026 try not to scream and tie a knot and hang on.\u201d Of course, there are all kinds of variations to those sayings, and there are other ones like them that are around that you may have heard also. But what they all have in common is how other people are compared to how you are.<\/p>\n
Like that one saying says, other people may be \u201closing their heads,\u201d but that doesn\u2019t mean you<\/p>\n
have to lose yours. Or like the other saying, you don\u2019t have to be a \u201cturkey\u201d like everyone else \u2013 you can still try to be an \u201ceagle.\u201d In other words, just because other people are acting a certain way, doesn\u2019t mean that you have to.<\/p>\n
So what does this have to do with bipolar disorder?<\/p>\n
Think about it: Just because your loved one is acting a certain way, doesn\u2019t mean that you have to act that way, too. It\u2019s their bipolar disorder that makes them act in certain ways. But you don\u2019t have bipolar disorder, so you don\u2019t have to act in those certain ways. You can be who you are!<\/p>\n
The thing is, when your loved one\u2019s disorder is \u201cacting up,\u201d and it makes them act out because<\/p>\n
they are feeling irritable or agitated, they usually take it out on the person closest to them, which in this case is you. They may pick a fight with you over nothing. Or they may be depressed, and want you to leave them alone, but because you are concerned about them, you ask them to talk to you. But they don\u2019t want to talk, so they get mad, because they think you\u2019re interfering. It\u2019s just their mood. But they\u2019re taking it out on you anyway. And you may have no control over it. But the next thing you know, your loved one is in this uncontrolled rage\u2026 Yelling and screaming at you\u2026 Calling you names\u2026 Maybe even throwing things\u2026 Totally out of control\u2026 And you don\u2019t know what to do.<\/p>\n
Maybe your first impulse is even to yell and scream back at them. Many supporters tell me that is the first thing they want to do. And I know that in my mom\u2019s case, that is what I wanted to do many times. It was very hard for me to hold my own temper. And VERY hard for me to hold in the hurt when she said things like, \u201cI don\u2019t want you to be my son any more.\u201d But I had to tell myself that this wasn\u2019t my mom talking, that this her bipolar disorder making her say these hurtful things. That\u2019s what you have to do, too\u2026 Like when your loved one calls you names\u2026<\/p>\n
Or anytime they get angry with you. Because you really have no defense when they fight with you\u2026 Especially when the fight is just because they\u2019re in a \u201cbad mood.\u201d And they\u2019re just reacting to how they feel. That\u2019s part of their disorder. They can\u2019t help themselves.<\/p>\n
It may seem to you like they are overreacting. It may even seem irrational to you. But it seems rational to your loved one, and they will act on it. Like I said before, they will take out their feelings (or their reaction to their feelings) on you, because you are the one closest to them.<\/p>\n
But if you \u201cact like a turkey\u201d just because they are, it will prolong the fight, and you won\u2019t win it anyway \u2013 in fact, you will just make matters worse in the long run. The best thing for you to do is to act like the \u201ceagle\u201d that you are, and try to ignore the names that your loved one is calling you (in spite of how much it might hurt you)\u2026 Stay as calm as you can\u2026 Try to be understanding\u2026And try to end the fight as soon as you can.<\/p>\n
Well, I have to go!<\/p>\n
Your Friend,<\/p>\n
Dave<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Hi,<\/p>\n
There are several sayings about other people compared to you. Here are just a couple that you may have heard: \u201cIt\u2019s hard to soar with the eagles when you\u2019re down here with the turkeys.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen everyone around you is losing their heads and you\u2019re the only one who isn\u2019t\u2026 try not to scream and tie a knot and hang on.\u201d Of course, there are all kinds of variations to those sayings,<\/p>\n