Hi, how’s it going? I hope you’re doing well.<\/p>\n
This is an excerpt that actually comes from Alcoholics Anonymous, but I think you will be able to relate to it:<\/p>\n
“\u2026unless I accept life completely<\/p>\n
on life’s terms, I cannot be happy.<\/p>\n
I need to concentrate not so much<\/p>\n
on what needs to be changed in<\/p>\n
the world as on what needs to be<\/p>\n
changed in me and my attitudes.”<\/p>\n
Today I want to talk about living with the big D:<\/p>\n
DISAPPOINTMENT<\/p>\n
Disappointment is very common not only in life in general, but in bipolar disorder specifically. And learning how to deal with it is important.<\/p>\n
Here’s another excerpt to illustrate what I’m talking about:<\/p>\n
“When I am disturbed, it is because<\/p>\n
I find some person, place, thing or<\/p>\n
situation \u2013 some fact of my life \u2013<\/p>\n
unacceptable to me, and I can find<\/p>\n
no serenity until I accept that person,<\/p>\n
place, thing or situation as being<\/p>\n
exactly the way it is supposed to be<\/p>\n
at this moment.”<\/p>\n
What both excerpts are talking about is accepting things the way they are instead of the way you’d like them to be. And that’s where I hear a lot of complaints at some of the support groups I attend. Sometimes I hear more griping about the supporter’s loved one than anything else.<\/p>\n
DISAPPOINTMENT<\/p>\n
It runs rampant in trying to help someone with bipolar disorder. You might even be disappointed<\/p>\n
in yourself, thinking you could do better. Or be a better supporter. Maybe because your loved one isn’t as far along in their stability as you think they should be. But bipolar disorder is funny that way. Stability with bipolar disorder doesn’t happen overnight. There are bound to be disappointments on the way. You have to work very hard for it, do the things you need to do for it. And that may include, like the excerpt said, “\u2026accept life completely on life’s terms.”<\/p>\n
You might not be able to control the people, places, things and situations around you, but you<\/p>\n
CAN control your reaction to them.<\/p>\n
DISAPPOINTMENT<\/p>\n
Is that what you feel sometimes? If you do, first understand that this is normal for a supporter to feel. Your loved one might go into an episode, and that will bring on disappointment, because you may have been under the misconception that they would never have another one. But if you accept that they will have another bipolar episode at some point, and you plan for that, you can<\/p>\n
avoid this disappointment.<\/p>\n
Don’t expect your loved one to be able to be perfectly stable, because that is unrealistic. Nobody is perfect, and no one with bipolar disorder can have perfect stability. There will still be ups and downs. But, hopefully, gradually there will be more ups than downs.<\/p>\n
If you “accept life on life’s terms,” however, things will go much easier for you. If you concentrate more on what needs to be changed in you and your attitudes rather than your loved one, that also will go much easier for you.<\/p>\n
Well, I have to go!<\/p>\n
Your Friend,<\/p>\n
Dave<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Hi, how’s it going? I hope you’re doing well.<\/p>\n
This is an excerpt that actually comes from Alcoholics Anonymous, but I think you will be able to relate to it:<\/p>\n
“\u2026unless I accept life completely<\/p>\n
on life’s terms, I cannot be happy.<\/p>\n
I need to concentrate not so much<\/p>\n
on what needs to be changed in<\/p>\n
the world as on what needs to be<\/p>\n
changed in me and my attitudes.”<\/p>\n