Hi,<\/p>\n
Have you ever had a sore that just wouldn\u2019t heal? Or had a child who just kept picking at a<\/p>\n
sore so that the wound wouldn\u2019t heal, no matter how many times you told them to leave it alone?<\/p>\n
Wounds need to be left alone to heal, don\u2019t they? At first, there are things you can do to help<\/p>\n
them along, but then you need to leave them alone to do the rest of the healing on their own.<\/p>\n
But other things in life aren\u2019t like that. Some things will get worse if you just leave them alone. They might even get \u201cinfected.\u201d Some people think, \u201cIf I ignore this problem, it will just go away.\u201d But, instead, it will just fester like an infected wound, and will just get worse.<\/p>\n
Like the following Case Study:<\/p>\n
Cindy knew Stuart had bipolar disorder before they got married, but figured it was under control,<\/p>\n
since he hadn\u2019t had any episodes during their relationship beforehand. Even after they were married and raising children, Stuart remained stable for many years, holding down a steady job, and being a good husband, father, and provider. Of course, there were times that Stuart would<\/p>\n
seem depressed, sometimes even for weeks at a time, but Cindy would chalk this up to stress at<\/p>\n
work or the stresses of parenthood and maintaining a good marriage. Stuart didn\u2019t seem like he<\/p>\n
wanted to talk about it, so Cindy didn\u2019t press it. She figured if she didn\u2019t worry it, the problem<\/p>\n
would go away. And it seemed to, each time. So years went by with this non-communicating<\/p>\n
style of relationship.<\/p>\n
It was only after the kids were grown and out of the house that things got out of hand. Stuart<\/p>\n
seemed to withdraw into himself more and more every day. He seemed to drift further and further away from Cindy, and she didn\u2019t know what to do about it. Stuart\u2019s depression worsened to the point that he could no longer even hold down his job. He started sleeping all the time. He stopped eating. Cindy tried talking to him, but it was like \u201ctoo little too late,\u201d and she eventually gave up even trying. Cindy didn\u2019t know that Stuart had become so depressed that he had even given up taking his bipolar medication. She just had the attitude that he would \u201ctry to get better when he was ready,\u201d and that she didn\u2019t have to do anything other than what she had done all these years. She just left things alone. Like always.<\/p>\n
Finally, when Cindy discovered that Stuart had been off his medications, she realized that he<\/p>\n
needed help, and she put him in the hospital. It was a drastic move, but she had to do it. She was tired of watching him lay around all the time, after all. And he had stopped talking to her all together. In therapy with her husband at the hospital, Cindy was surprised to learn that she was at least half the problem. At first she was very defensive at this! How could she be the problem, when the problem was Stuart\u2019s bipolar disorder after all? But she learned that her not talking to him, her ignoring the problem for so long had led up to his deepening depression.<\/p>\n
She was told that there were things she could have done way before the problem got out of<\/p>\n
control that would have stopped things from getting to this point. For example, she learned,<\/p>\n
she should have tried harder to get Stuart to talk about what was going on with him \u2013 to share his<\/p>\n
thoughts and feelings, instead of letting them fester inside, closing her off for so long. Cindy learned that depression can be anger turned inward, and that perhaps at least some of Stuart\u2019s depression was anger at her, anger that should be allowed to be expressed and worked out. So, in therapy with her husband, she began a long journey of learning how to communicate with him and healing the wounds of a troubled relationship along with the strains that bipolar disorder put on it. She was finally learning how to be a good listener as well as a good bipolar supporter.<\/p>\n
——————————————————————————————————————–<\/p>\n
I wanted to share that Case Study with you to make sure that this doesn\u2019t happen to you. Just ignoring the problem, or letting them go so long without talking to you, not sharing their thoughts and feelings, will only make things worse.<\/p>\n
Don\u2019t let them drift away or go into their own world like Stuart did. Help them to cope with<\/p>\n
their bipolar disorder and the depression that it causes sometimes by not just being there for<\/p>\n
them, but by actively participating in their treatment.<\/p>\n
Well, I have to go!<\/p>\n
Your Friend,<\/p>\n
Dave<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Hi,<\/p>\n
Have you ever had a sore that just wouldn\u2019t heal? Or had a child who just kept picking at a<\/p>\n
sore so that the wound wouldn\u2019t heal, no matter how many times you told them to leave it alone?<\/p>\n
Wounds need to be left alone to heal, don\u2019t they? At first, there are things you can do to help<\/p>\n
them along, but then you need to leave them alone to do the rest of the healing on their own.<\/p>\n