Hi,<\/p>\n
Sometimes when children are little, their parents play the What If Game with them. It goes like this: The parent may ask little Suzy something like, \u201cSuzy, what if you were a princess, what<\/p>\n
would you do?\u201d And Suzy might answer, \u201cI\u2019d turn a frog into a Prince and make him marry me.\u201d A predictable answer for a little girl. But not very realistic. Or they might ask little Johnny something like, \u201cJohnny, if you were President, what would you do?\u201d And Johnny might answer, \u201cI\u2019d stop all the wars and make peace and bring all the soldiers home.\u201d A noble answer for a little boy. But not very realistic either. That\u2019s not what the What If Game is for. It\u2019s for sparking imagination. At least in little children.<\/p>\n
On the other hand\u2026 Teachers use it with their students in the following way: In math, they might ask, \u201cWhat if we were to substitute the number 6 for X, what would happen then?\u201d Or in English\u2026 \u201cWhat if [this] would happen, how would that change the plot of the story?\u201d<\/p>\n
Even scientists can use the What If Game in their research, by doing the same thing that math teachers do\u2026 They can ask themselves, \u201cWhat if\u2026 I were to exchange this value for that one\u2026 how would it change the formula and subsequently, the results of my research?\u201d Can you see the value of that? So, even in research, the What If Game can be used positively to spark the imagination.<\/p>\n
However, the What If Game can also be used negatively. How, you are probably asking? When it\u2019s applied to the past. Still, you\u2019re probably thinking, what does any of this have to do with bipolar disorder, right? Ok, you\u2019ve been very patient, so I\u2019ll tell you\u2026 It has to do with what I was just talking about. How the What If Game can be used in a negative way.<\/p>\n
When you\u2019re a supporter of someone with bipolar disorder, you very much have to deal with things as they are, and not how you would like them to be. In fact, that\u2019s called mindfulness, a part of Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, which is the type of therapy specifically developed for<\/p>\n
borderline personality disorder, and which can be used to help your loved one with bipolar disorder as well. But you can learn the principle as well, as it will help you, too.<\/p>\n
If you play the What If Game, it will only distract you from dealing with things the way you need to be dealing with them in your present everyday life. You can\u2019t expect your loved one to be learning a principle that you yourself aren\u2019t willing to follow, can you? And it\u2019s easy to follow. In other words\u2026 Instead of thinking, \u201cWhat if my loved one was better able to cope with their bipolar disorder by themselves, how much better my life would be?\u201d You replace that thinking with, \u201cHow can I better cope with how my loved one\u2019s bipolar disorder?\u201d So you are dealing with things more realistically. Do you see what I\u2019m getting at? Then it\u2019s not a What If Game any more. You are looking at things with mindfulness then. You are dealing with things as they are, and not how you\u2019d like them to be. In this way, you think about NOT how you<\/p>\n
can change your situation, but how you can deal with things just as they are. It\u2019s more realistic, because you realize you cannot change your loved one, but have to accept them just the way they are.<\/p>\n
Now, this does NOT mean that you have to accept their behavior, especially when their behavior is not acceptable. You do have the right to have them take responsibility for the consequences of their behavior during bipolar episodes, for example. In other words, you should not be expected to pay these consequences for them. It\u2019s only fair.<\/p>\n
Well, I have to go!<\/p>\n
Your Friend,<\/p>\n
Dave<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Hi,<\/p>\n
Sometimes when children are little, their parents play the What If Game with them. It goes like this: The parent may ask little Suzy something like, \u201cSuzy, what if you were a princess, what<\/p>\n
would you do?\u201d And Suzy might answer, \u201cI\u2019d turn a frog into a Prince and make him marry me.\u201d A predictable answer for a little girl. But not very realistic. Or they might ask little Johnny something like,<\/p>\n