Hi,<\/p>\n
Here is a simple truth for you: LIFE IS NOT A EMERGENCY!<\/p>\n
I’ve had hundreds of people who have written or called me and they are so upset and there is so much drama surrounding them that you would think that to them, life is an emergency!<\/p>\n
But as they go on with their story, I see\/hear that it is only an emergency to them.<\/p>\n
These people come to me for advice, but they are so upset and so caught up in their stories and what is going on in their lives\u2026and their or their loved one’s bipolar disorder\u2026that they don’t even let me get a word in edgewise. Now, I’m just a third party, so of course, whatever they’re telling me is not an emergency for me. But even though they wrote or called me for advice, they can’t get it, because they won’t even stop long enough to listen to me!<\/p>\n
These people remind me of the Type A personalities we hear of in business who work 80 hours a week, who are so driven, who have such high expectations, that if they don’t meet that 80 hour work week, that they have failed in some way.<\/p>\n
They are always walking around like a chicken with it’s head cut off, afraid that everything won’t get done, because to them, everything is an emergency!<\/p>\n
I had a supporter who called me who was like that. She was so upset over her inability to be<\/p>\n
perfect that her doctor had prescribed her anti-anxiety medicine. She was acting (and feeling) like there was a gun pointed at her head and the sniper was demanding that everything she did as a supporter had to be perfect \u2013 or else! Again, the silent assumption was that, this is an emergency!<\/p>\n
The truth was, no one other than her had created the pressure she was experiencing. The truth is that: LIFE IS NOT AN EMERGENCY!<\/p>\n
I’m not saying that some of us have never done it, sometimes we’ve jumped to conclusions before getting all the facts, and maybe overreacted, making an emergency out of something that wasn’t, but not all the time!<\/p>\n
Sometimes we take our own goals so seriously that we forget to have fun along the way, and we forget to cut ourselves some slack. We take simple things and turn them into conditions for our own happiness. Or, we beat ourselves up if we can’t meet our self-created deadlines.<\/p>\n
The first step in becoming a less stressed person is to have the humility to admit that, in most<\/p>\n
cases, you’re creating your own emergencies. Life will usually go on if things don’t go according<\/p>\n
to plan.<\/p>\n
John Lennon said, “Life is what happens when you’re making other plans.” I’m sure he would have agreed that life is NOT an emergency.<\/p>\n
You need to cut yourself some slack. Remember that your goal is to stay relaxed, to not get too<\/p>\n
worked up or concerned about how you are doing. As long as you’re trying your best to be a good supporter, then that’s all that matters. No one is a perfect supporter all the time.<\/p>\n
Practice what you’ve learned, keep your strategies in mind, and don’t worry about being perfect.<\/p>\n
There will be many times when you lose it, when you revert to being uptight, frustrated, stressed, and reactive \u2013 get used to it. When you do, it’s ok. Life is a process \u2013 just one thing after another. When you lose it, just start again. It doesn’t mean that it has to be an emergency, though!<\/p>\n
You just don’t have to make little setbacks into large emergencies \u2013 cut yourself some slack. Look at your mistakes as learning experiences, not emergencies.<\/p>\n
All that’s important is that you do your best and that you are moving in the right direction. Keep your perspective, be the best supporter you can be, and eventually your loved one will respond to your support and will be able to manage their bipolar disorder.<\/p>\n
This way, you can learn to live with your own imperfection, give yourself a break, stop trying to be perfect, and remember that:<\/p>\n
LIFE IS NOT AN EMERGENCY!<\/p>\n
Well, I have to go!<\/p>\n
Your Friend,<\/p>\n
Dave<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Hi,<\/p>\n
Here is a simple truth for you: LIFE IS NOT A EMERGENCY!<\/p>\n
I’ve had hundreds of people who have written or called me and they are so upset and there is so much drama surrounding them that you would think that to them, life is an emergency!<\/p>\n
But as they go on with their story, I see\/hear that it is only an emergency to them.<\/p>\n
These people come to me for advice,<\/p>\n