Hi,<\/p>\n
Whether you are the supporter or the person with bipolar disorder, YOU BETTER NOT DO THIS: Never wish you were somewhere else. Haven’t you ever heard that old saying, “Wherever you go, there you are?” In other words, it doesn’t help to try to run from your problems, whether literally or just in your head. You can’t wish your problems away. You have to deal with them.<\/p>\n
I know it’s hard. I have to do it too. (Try being me for a day! LOL) But NEVER wish you were somewhere else. It is definitely non-productive. It will not help you at all. “Somewhere else” has its problems there, too. Because, “Wherever you go, there you are.” And so are your problems. They’re still in your head.<\/p>\n
A supporter doesn’t stop being a supporter just because they’re not home with their loved one.<\/p>\n
Running away doesn’t help. And neither does wishing you were somewhere else. When I talk to people, I teach them how they have to face what’s in front of them \u2013 how they have to develop systems to help them deal with those things.<\/p>\n
I know it’s hard dealing with a loved one with bipolar disorder. And sometimes you’d rather<\/p>\n
be somewhere else doing something else (anything else). But it doesn’t help to think that way.<\/p>\n
In fact, you better NOT think that way, because it will only get you into trouble. You have to face reality. You have to deal with what’s in front of you, good AND bad.<\/p>\n
And there are ways to do that:<\/p>\n
1.\tRemain positive<\/p>\n
2.\tBe proactive<\/p>\n
3.\tMaintain contact with friends<\/p>\n
4.\tMaintain contact with family<\/p>\n
5.\tTake care of yourself<\/p>\n
6.\tJournal your thoughts and feelings<\/p>\n
7.\tExercise (it gets out your frustration)<\/p>\n
8.\tSee your own therapist<\/p>\n
9.\tTake up a hobby<\/p>\n
10.\tGo places without your loved one<\/p>\n
These are just some suggestions. I’m sure you can think of some of your own if you try.<\/p>\n
Another thing is that you have to separate yourself from your loved one. You have your own identity outside your loved one and outside their disorder. Make sure you remember that!<\/p>\n
Also, try to separate your loved one from their disorder. I know that’s hard sometimes, especially because you have to live with them every day, but you have to try to do it anyway. Some people do this by looking through old photo albums or scrapbooks and remembering what their loved one was like before the disorder. Other people keep in mind what their loved one is like when they’re not in an episode (and they’re grateful for that!).<\/p>\n
But whatever, always keep in mind NOT to think about being somewhere else \u2013 it will ruin your<\/p>\n
trying to stay “in the moment.” \u201cIn the moment\u201d is where you should be.\u201d You may not be in the best “moment” of your life, but at least you’ll be dealing with reality. This is a part of mindfulness, which comes from dialectical behavioral therapy. Mindfulness teaches you to stay in the present \u2013 To focus on the reality of what is happening now and not what you\u2019d like to be happening.<\/p>\n
Well, I have to go!<\/p>\n
Your Friend,<\/p>\n
Dave<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Hi,<\/p>\n
Whether you are the supporter or the person with bipolar disorder, YOU BETTER NOT DO THIS: Never wish you were somewhere else. Haven’t you ever heard that old saying, “Wherever you go, there you are?” In other words, it doesn’t help to try to run from your problems, whether literally or just in your head. You can’t wish your problems away. You have to deal with them.<\/p>\n
I know it’s hard.<\/p>\n