Hi,<\/p>\n
Whether you are the supporter or the loved one,<\/p>\n
YOU BETTER NOT DO THIS:<\/p>\n
Never wish you were somewhere else.<\/p>\n
Haven’t you ever heard that old saying, “Wherever you go, there you are?” In other words, it doesn’t help to try to run from your problems, whether literally or just in your head. You can’t wish your problems away. You have to deal with them. I know it’s hard. I have to do it too. (Try being me for a day! LOL)<\/p>\n
But NEVER wish you were somewhere else. “Somewhere else” has its problems there, too. Because, “Wherever you go, there you are.” And so are your problems. They’re still in your<\/p>\n
head. A supporter doesn’t stop being a supporter just because they’re not home with their loved one. Running away doesn’t help. And neither does wishing you were somewhere else.<\/p>\n
I know it’s hard dealing with a loved one with bipolar disorder. And sometimes you’d rather be somewhere else doing something else (anything else). But it doesn’t help to think that way. In fact, you better NOT think that way, because it will only get you into trouble. You have to face reality. You have to deal with what’s in front of you, good AND bad.<\/p>\n
And there are ways to do that:<\/p>\n
1.\tRemain positive<\/p>\n
2.\tBe proactive<\/p>\n
3.\tMaintain contact with friends<\/p>\n
4.\tMaintain contact with family<\/p>\n
5.\tTake care of yourself<\/p>\n
6.\tJournal your thoughts and feelings<\/p>\n
7.\tExercise (it gets out your frustration)<\/p>\n
8.\tSee your own therapist<\/p>\n
9.\tTake up a hobby<\/p>\n
10.\tGo places without your loved one<\/p>\n
These are just some suggestions. I’m sure you can think of some of your own if you try.<\/p>\n
Another thing is that you have to separate yourself from your loved one. You have your own identity outside your loved one and outside their disorder. Make sure you remember that! Also, try to separate your loved one from their disorder. I know that’s hard sometimes, especially because you have to live with them every day, but you have to try to do it anyway.<\/p>\n
Some people do this by looking through old photo albums or scrapbooks and remembering what their loved one was like before the disorder. Other people keep in mind what their loved one is<\/p>\n
like when they’re not in an episode (and they’re grateful for that!).<\/p>\n
But whatever, always keep in mind NOT to think about being somewhere else \u2013 it will ruin your trying to stay “in the moment.” You may not be in the best “moment” of your life at the moment, but at least you’ll be dealing with reality. And that\u2019s the important thing.<\/p>\n
When people who are supporting a loved one with bipolar disorder get off too much into the \u201cI wish\u201d type of thinking, they begin to resent their reality, and what they\u2019re having to truly deal with. Then they begin to have other problems with their loved one and their relationship, besides<\/p>\n
the bipolar disorder.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s hard enough dealing with things as they are. It\u2019s even harder to try to deal with things with the interfering thoughts of how you would like them to be.<\/p>\n
Well, I have to go!<\/p>\n
Your Friend,<\/p>\n
Dave<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Hi,<\/p>\n
Whether you are the supporter or the loved one,<\/p>\n
YOU BETTER NOT DO THIS:<\/p>\n
Never wish you were somewhere else.<\/p>\n
Haven’t you ever heard that old saying, “Wherever you go, there you are?” In other words, it doesn’t help to try to run from your problems, whether literally or just in your head. You can’t wish your problems away. You have to deal with them. I know it’s hard.<\/p>\n