{"id":362,"date":"2008-11-19T09:06:14","date_gmt":"2008-11-19T13:06:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bipolarcentral.com\/bipolarsupporterblog\/?p=362"},"modified":"2009-03-14T04:50:22","modified_gmt":"2009-03-14T08:50:22","slug":"bad-news-bipolar-supporter-%e2%80%93-is-she-being-selfish","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.bipolarsupporter.com\/bipolarsupporterblog\/bad-news-bipolar-supporter-%e2%80%93-is-she-being-selfish\/","title":{"rendered":"Bad news. Bipolar Supporter \u2013 Is She Being Selfish?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Hi,<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I hope you’re having a really great day.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I have some bad news for myself. My dad had a stoke yesterday.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I have to take off and head to the hospital.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Actually I have two problems. My mom was NOT sleeping well over the last week BEFORE this happened to my dad.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Last night my mom was sending me emails after 11:00pm. The fact that my dad had a stroke will probably make things worse. <\/span>In addition, my mom’s worst period of the year for bipolar is November through early December.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I have to think long and hard and plan for the worst. I have to think of all the possible ways that bipolar could get the upper hand. <\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I have so many systems in place, I don’t think it’s possible. BUT, bipolar is smart and sometimes there are small cracks in the system that it can slip through and create an episode.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

After using my own Doomsday system, I don’t think this is possible anymore.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I told my mom to make sure she takes care of herself.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

My dad called me late yesterday from the hospital and did NOT want me to tell my mom to avoid worrying her.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I told my dad that would not be possible because he if did not show up at night she would then worry more.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

He said, “ohh, that’s right.”<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

So she was told.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Hmmm. <\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

We will see I guess.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

You know I talk to a lot of people about bipolar disorder, right?\u00a0 <\/span>It seems like everywhere I go, I run into someone who has bipolar disorder, knows someone who has it, or is a supporter to a loved one with the disorder.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Well, the other day, this supporter was talking to me about her loved one’s bipolar disorder, and she seemed really troubled.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

She said:<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

“I know you’re going to think I’m a really selfish person for saying this, and I know there’s a lot of people out there who have it worse than I do, but I really don’t care about them. <\/span>All I care about is my husband and his bipolar and helping him get better, and that takes all my time and energy. <\/span>Does that make me selfish? <\/span>Do you think I’m a terrible person?”<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

——————————————————————-<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Well, what do you say to something like that?<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

First of all, I assured her that she wasn’t the first supporter to express those kinds of feelings to me, because she’s not.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Then I assured her that just because she feels that way does not make her a terrible person.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

When you have a loved one with bipolar disorder, your world can become very small to the exclusion of everything (and everybody) else.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Your problems can seem so overwhelming to you that it takes all your time and energy to deal with them.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Your life as a supporter is definitely not an easy one.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

When I asked this woman, “What about your support group?”<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

She said:<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

“It’s almost the worst there, because mostly all they do is complain. <\/span>I mean, some of them I feel sorry for, because they have as many problems as I do, but the rest of them I resent. <\/span>Their loved ones are doing better than my husband, and they’re the ones who complain the loudest. <\/span>They don’t even try to help me. <\/span>Maybe I’m not the selfish one \u2013 maybe they are.”<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I didn’t know what to say.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Bipolar disorder or not, everyone has problems.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

And to them, their own problems seem worse than everyone else’s just because they’re happening to them.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

That’s why, in my courses\/systems, I teach problem-solving techniques, because they’re so important, not just for the person with bipolar disorder, but for their supporter as well.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?<\/span><\/p>\n

Visit:<\/span><\/p>\n

http:\/\/www.bipolarsupporter.com\/report11<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

SUPPORTING A CHILD\/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?<\/span><\/p>\n

Visit:<\/span><\/p>\n

http:\/\/www.bipolarparenting.com<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?<\/span><\/p>\n

Visit:<\/span><\/p>\n

http:\/\/www.survivebipolar.net<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>There’s a difference between being selfish and “taking care of your own.”<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

If this woman was truly a selfish person, first of all, I don’t think she would’ve been so concerned about it.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

And second of all, if she were really selfish, she would be off doing things she<\/em> wanted to do instead of taking care of her husband and being a good supporter to him.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

But these are just my thoughts.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

What do YOU think?<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Do you think she’s being selfish?<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I’d really like to know.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME<\/span><\/p>\n

Visit: http:\/\/www.bipolarcentral.com\/testimonials<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide \u201cBipolar Disorder\u2014The REAL Silent Killer.\u201d Click Here<\/span><\/a><\/strong> to get FREE Information<\/strong> sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Hi,<\/p>\n

\n

I hope you’re having a really great day.<\/p>\n

\n

I have some bad news for myself. My dad had a stoke yesterday.<\/p>\n

\n

I have to take off and head to the hospital.<\/p>\n

\n

Actually I have two problems. My mom was NOT sleeping well over the last week BEFORE this happened to my dad.<\/p>\n

\n

Last night my mom was sending me emails after 11:00pm.<\/p>\n

Continue Reading<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nBad news. Bipolar Supporter \u2013 Is She Being Selfish? - Bipolar Supporter Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"http:\/\/www.bipolarsupporter.com\/bipolarsupporterblog\/bad-news-bipolar-supporter-\u2013-is-she-being-selfish\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Bad news. Bipolar Supporter \u2013 Is She Being Selfish? - Bipolar Supporter Blog\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Hi, I hope you’re having a really great day. I have some bad news for myself. My dad had a stoke yesterday. 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