Hi,<\/p>\n
Remember when you were little and you would say that something wasn’t fair? Sometimes your parents would even say that life wasn’t always fair, wouldn’t they? But usually they would try to explain things for you, or try to work out a reasonable solution to your problem to make things fair.<\/p>\n
The problem is with bipolar disorder that, being a supporter, you might sometimes feel that things aren’t fair to you, either. You might sometimes think that, no matter how hard you try, you’re still coming out on the short end of things, which isn’t fair to you.<\/p>\n
You might think you’re the best supporter in the world, yet your loved one still does things that don’t seem right to you, and you can’t figure out why! Unfortunately, that’s just part of their<\/p>\n
having bipolar disorder.<\/p>\n
Sometimes, in an episode, your loved one will do things that you don’t understand. But you’re right \u2013 These are things that just aren’t fair to you. These are reasons for you to scream “Life just isn’t fair!” In this case, it isn’t. But you still have to face it if you’re going to stay with your loved one who has bipolar disorder.<\/p>\n
It is true that they will sometimes do things that you don’t understand, like fight with you for seemingly no reason at all. They will do other things that won’t seem fair, too. They can sometimes get so angry that they will rage, or in a manic episode, they can lie to you, among other things. That is also part of their disorder.<\/p>\n
They’re not doing this on purpose, or because they just one day decided to hurt you. It stems from their bipolar disorder. And you’re right \u2013 This isn’t fair to you, either.<\/p>\n
Even if you try to defend yourself, what are you defending yourself against? These things they’re raging against, are they even real? No! You’re defending yourself against untruths, or lies. So it doesn’t matter how vehemently you defend yourself, it isn’t going to get you anywhere. You just have to wait out the storm, so to speak. Fair or not, it is going to happen.<\/p>\n
Why? Because, unfortunately, your loved one has bipolar disorder. And it is part of their disorder.<\/p>\n
You can do something about it, however. At some point, when they are not raging at you, and they are calm and collected, sit them down and tell them how you feel. Tell them in a way that is non-threatening to them, however. Don’t blame them, or they will get defensive and you will end up in a fight, which is what you do not want.<\/p>\n
Just say something like, “When you rage at me, I don’t understand, and I feel hurt.” Then you have stated your feelings in direct relation to something they have done, and they need to take responsibility at that point. At least they should. If they don’t, try to tell them in a different<\/p>\n
way.<\/p>\n
I know that it may not seem fair that you have to be the one doing all the effort at communicating, but it’s just the way it is when you are the supporter to a loved one who has bipolar disorder.<\/p>\n
Hopefully, by communicating in this way, your loved one will take responsibility for their actions and change their ways and not hurt you any more.<\/p>\n
If worse comes to worse, and you cannot talk to your loved one, at least find someone else who you can talk to about your feelings, or write them in a diary or journal so you don’t stuff them and have them build up inside you.<\/p>\n
Things may not always be fair when you’re involved with someone who has bipolar disorder, but there are some things you can do to make them more fair.<\/p>\n
Well, I have to go!<\/p>\n
Your Friend,<\/p>\n
Dave<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Hi,<\/p>\n
Remember when you were little and you would say that something wasn’t fair? Sometimes your parents would even say that life wasn’t always fair, wouldn’t they? But usually they would try to explain things for you, or try to work out a reasonable solution to your problem to make things fair.<\/p>\n
The problem is with bipolar disorder that, being a supporter, you might sometimes feel that things aren’t fair to you,<\/p>\n