Hi,<\/p>\n
How are you doing today? I hope today is a good one.<\/p>\n
A while back I had to ride a train, and I had an irritating experience while I was riding. There was a man on the train that was talking loudly to everyone, whether they wanted to be talked to or not.<\/p>\n
He couldn\u2019t seem to take a hint that no matter how interested he was in his stories that no one else cared! In fact, he was really disturbing the other passengers, who were trying to work, relax, and even sleep.<\/p>\n
It made me think about our loved ones who have bipolar disorder. Sometimes they can act like this, too. Other times they say or do other things that are inappropriate, and don\u2019t even realize they are doing it.<\/p>\n
I\u2019ve known people with bipolar disorder to speak too fast and too loud.<\/p>\n
I\u2019ve known people with bipolar disorder to be unable to stop moving, no matter how inappropriate that is for the situation they are in. This may seem harmless enough in theory, but I\u2019m sure many of you know what I mean. After all, can you imagine a person who can\u2019t stop fidgeting at a funeral? Many people there would probably find it offensive.<\/p>\n
I\u2019ve also known people with bipolar disorder to be so focused on their own life that they forget that they are talking to another person who might have feelings and a life of their own.<\/p>\n
Have you ever had this happen to you? A person will go on and on about their day, and just when you think they are going to ask you about yours, they decide it is time to leave. This can be frustrating.<\/p>\n
So what can be done about this? Should we just \u201cblow it off,\u201d with the excuse that they cannot think clearly? Should we continue to deal with this behavior, and even apologize for it? Or are there things we can do to minimize it?<\/p>\n
Until our loved ones have gotten to a certain point on the recovery process, these inappropriate behaviors will probably not go away entirely. But they can be minimized, with some specific steps and effort.<\/p>\n
To begin with, let them know what they are doing that bothers you. You may already be doing this. But if you are not yet, this can help them realize that the things actually do bother you, and possibly others as well. One important thing to remember is a person with bipolar is often unaware that their speech and behaviors are inappropriate.<\/p>\n
Another good way to introduce them to that concept is to arrange a meeting with another person who has bipolar disorder. This may seem simple enough, but it can potentially be very helpful. If your loved one realizes that the behaviors of the other person are not what they should be, then they might just make the connection that their behaviors are not what they should be either.<\/p>\n
Of course, this only works if the other person with bipolar disorder is not very far along in their recovery. And depending on whether your loved one is manic at the time, it may or may not work anyways. If they are manic also, then they are less likely to notice the behaviors of the other person.<\/p>\n
Once you have done what you can to make your loved one understand that what they are doing is inappropriate, the next thing to do is to simply give them something to do. When our loved ones are focused on something in specific, especially something that they love doing, they are less likely to show the symptoms that they would show normally.<\/p>\n
Now, in order for this to be effective, you have to know what they like and pick something from those things.<\/p>\n
Giving them something constructive to do can be helpful in many other ways, as well. For example, it may help teach them to finish projects, or help them to relax. It may help them to focus their energy onto something that will not turn around and harm them or their supporters.<\/p>\n
Another important thing to remember is that if anyone should apologize for their behavior, it should be them.<\/p>\n
There are certainly times where apologizing for them is necessary. Like in the case if they were to ruin an event for other people, or do something that might physically harm someone.<\/p>\n
But when they do something that is simply embarrassing, it is not all that necessary to do their apologizing for them. Instead, try to teach them to apologize for their own behaviors. Try to teach them that when someone brings it to their attention that they are doing something that is annoying or frustrating, to give an apology and an explanation (when it is needed).<\/p>\n
For example, in a situation where it is okay for the other people to know that they have bipolar disorder, they might say \u201cI\u2019m sorry I\u2019m behaving this way, you see I have bipolar disorder and sometimes it\u2019s easy for me to forget that how I am behaving makes a difference. I am doing my best to learn from my mistakes so that this won\u2019t happen in the future. Thank- you for pointing out my behaviors to me.\u201d<\/p>\n
When they do not feel comfortable telling the other person that they have bipolar disorder, then it is a little harder to explain, but it is still possible. They might say something along the lines of \u201cI\u2019m sorry I was behaving that way, I got a little off track. Thank-you for pointing it out to me so that I can fix it.\u201d<\/p>\n
There are many ways you can help your loved one out, but apologizing for them is not one of those ways. It doesn\u2019t do them or you any good for you to be apologizing for them constantly, when you could have been focusing that energy on helping them learn to change their behaviors.<\/p>\n
There are other things you can do to help them along, but these are three ideas to start you off. Can you think of any others?<\/p>\n
Well, I have to go!<\/p>\n
Your Friend,<\/p>\n
Dave<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Hi,<\/p>\n
How are you doing today? I hope today is a good one.<\/p>\n
A while back I had to ride a train, and I had an irritating experience while I was riding. There was a man on the train that was talking loudly to everyone, whether they wanted to be talked to or not.<\/p>\n
He couldn\u2019t seem to take a hint that no matter how interested he was in his stories that no one else cared!<\/p>\n