Hi, how are you? I hope you’re feeling fine.<\/p>\n
I have to share this email with you, because it concerns me:<\/p>\n
“Dear Dave, Things are really bad for us right now. My husband lost his job, and hasn’t been able to find another one. They are getting ready to foreclose on our house. Because of things he has done in his bipolar episodes, our boys aren’t even talking to him. And I get so frustrated day after day working hard and coming home to find out that all he did was sleep all day. The house isn’t clean, there is nothing for supper, and he hasn’t even taken a shower.<\/p>\n
This has to be because of his bipolar disorder, right? Because he never was a lazy person before. Well, at least not before he lost his job. He’s getting so<\/p>\n
discouraged that he hasn’t been able to find another one, and I feel guilty that I’m working and he isn’t.<\/p>\n
He misses appointments with his doctors and therapist because he says we don’t have the money for it, but I think that is just making him worse. I have to believe him when he says he is still taking his medications, but I’m not sure because I don’t watch him take them. And things between us aren’t good at all either. He just won’t talk to me. And I have a hard time talking to him because I don’t want to say anything to upset him. So we really don’t have any communication any more.<\/p>\n
I know you’ve probably heard all this before, like I did at support meetings, but I never thought it would happen to me and my husband. I’m about ready to give up. Any suggestions?<\/p>\n
Keep up the good work,<\/p>\n
Sarah<\/p>\n
What an email. But she’s right about one thing \u2013 this doesn’t surprise me, because I do get a lot of emails from supporters struggling through the things that Sarah is going through right now.<\/p>\n
I’m not a lawyer or realtor, so I can’t comment on her losing her house. I’m not a therapist or counselor, either, so I can only give my opinion based on what she said in her email. I’m not a magician either, though, so I don’t have a magic word to give her to make everything ok for them.<\/p>\n
A lot of people come to me and want me to solve their problems for them. Some even get mad when I tell them that I don’t have any pat answers that will change things. However, when I can, I try to help people by giving practical advice, because that’s the only advice that can really help them. Then it’s up to them whether they follow it.<\/p>\n
You can tell how stressed this woman is, and I can understand that. To her, she is doing all the work and her husband isn’t doing anything to contribute. But there are practical ways to fix that, like making him a To-Do List.<\/p>\n
The biggest point, first of all, is that it sounds like her husband is in a bipolar depressive episode.<\/p>\n
The fact that he isn’t doing anything with his time\u2026The fact that he is isolating\u2026The fact that he is sleeping all the time\u2026The fact that he has stopped communicating with his supporter\u2026These are all signs of a bipolar depressive episode.<\/p>\n
In my opinion, the best thing for her to do is get her husband to seek help, however she has to do it. But she also has to NOT give up! That’s one thing I always tell people: NEVER give up! The next day might be the day that her husband comes out of the episode.<\/p>\n
Well, I have to go!<\/p>\n
Your Friend,<\/p>\n
Dave<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Hi, how are you? I hope you’re feeling fine.<\/p>\n
I have to share this email with you, because it concerns me:<\/p>\n
“Dear Dave, Things are really bad for us right now. My husband lost his job, and hasn’t been able to find another one. They are getting ready to foreclose on our house. Because of things he has done in his bipolar episodes, our boys aren’t even talking to him. And I get so frustrated day after day working hard and coming home to find out that all he did was sleep all day.<\/p>\n