{"id":2320,"date":"2009-11-17T09:45:55","date_gmt":"2009-11-17T13:45:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bipolarcentral.com\/bipolarsupporterblog\/?p=2320"},"modified":"2009-11-17T10:11:11","modified_gmt":"2009-11-17T14:11:11","slug":"dealing-with-bipolar-be-a-part-of-this","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.bipolarsupporter.com\/bipolarsupporterblog\/dealing-with-bipolar-be-a-part-of-this\/","title":{"rendered":"Dealing With Bipolar? Be a Part of This"},"content":{"rendered":"

Hi,<\/p>\n

How’s it going for you today?<\/p>\n

I hope it’s a good day for you.<\/p>\n

I have a friend who goes to a 12-Step program, and he said they have a saying:<\/p>\n

“Be a part of your own life.”<\/p>\n

I think that’s cool.<\/p>\n

But I can definitely relate it to bipolar disorder, because I’ve run across people who aren’t.<\/p>\n

For example, here’s an email I received from a supporter:<\/p>\n

“Dave, I am fed up. I know it’s probably<\/p>\n

wrong to say that, and it may make<\/p>\n

me be a bad supporter, but I’m<\/p>\n

sick and tired of doing everything<\/p>\n

for my wife. I mean, she doesn’t<\/p>\n

work or anything, so I’m talking<\/p>\n

about things like keeping the house<\/p>\n

clean, doing laundry, cooking, and<\/p>\n

stuff like that. Stuff she can do.<\/p>\n

I shouldn’t have to do these things for<\/p>\n

her. Bipolar disorder can’t be that<\/p>\n

bad, can it? I’m just finding out<\/p>\n

about it, but I can’t believe that it’s<\/p>\n

ok for someone with bipolar disorder<\/p>\n

to not do things for themselves, even<\/p>\n

if they do get depressed once in a<\/p>\n

while. I want a partner, who will give<\/p>\n

her opinion.<\/p>\n

That’s what she was like before, when we first<\/p>\n

got married. It was one of the things I liked about<\/p>\n

her. Now I have to make all the decisions by myself.<\/p>\n

She just doesn’t care. I want my wife to get better.<\/p>\n

I can’t keep going on like this.”<\/p>\n

—————————————————-<\/p>\n

You wouldn’t believe how often I hear this same complaint.<\/p>\n

Inactivity can lead to depression, and depression lead to a bipolar depressive episode, and before<\/p>\n

you know it, things are out of control.<\/p>\n

That’s why I stress productivity so highly in my courses\/systems:<\/p>\n

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?<\/p>\n

Visit:<\/p>\n

http:\/\/www.bipolarsupporter.com\/report11<\/a><\/p>\n

SUPPORTING A CHILD\/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?<\/p>\n

Visit:<\/p>\n

http:\/\/www.bipolarparenting.com<\/a><\/p>\n

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?<\/p>\n

Visit:<\/p>\n

http:\/\/www.survivebipolar.net<\/a><\/p>\n

I’m not judging this man as a good or bad supporter.<\/p>\n

But, in my opinion, he is doing something wrong.<\/p>\n

I believe he is enabling his wife.<\/p>\n

Oh, I’m not saying that she doesn’t have a responsibility for the way things are, because she<\/p>\n

does, bipolar or not.<\/p>\n

But he is also doing those things for her that she can do for herself, and that’s enabling.<\/p>\n

What would happen if he started making her do some of those things?<\/p>\n

It might just bring her out of her depression.<\/p>\n

Understandably, from her point of view, the bipolar disorder makes you feel so bad during a depression that it’s hard enough to get from the bed to the couch, much less clean up the whole house!<\/p>\n

So what’s the answer for this man?<\/p>\n

Well, for one thing, like I said, he needs to stop enabling his wife.<\/p>\n

Another thing is that he needs to communicate his thoughts and feelings to her.<\/p>\n

She may not even be aware of the things that she’s doing, or how upset she is making her husband.<\/p>\n

He really needs to talk to her and tell her how he’s feeling.<\/p>\n

He also needs to understand that she can’t read his mind, so nothing is going to change unless he talks to her about it.<\/p>\n

But as far as the wife goes, here’s what I suggest:<\/p>\n

1.\tBe present in your own life.<\/p>\n

2.\tDon’t expect others to do<\/p>\n

everything for you \u2013 do those<\/p>\n

things for yourself that you can.<\/p>\n

3.\tBe an independent thinker. Express<\/p>\n

your opinions, thoughts, and feelings.<\/p>\n

4.\tDon’t expect your supporter to be a<\/p>\n

mind-reader.<\/p>\n

5.\tDon’t expect your doctor, psychiatrist,<\/p>\n

and\/or therapist to be mind-readers,<\/p>\n

either. They only know what you tell<\/p>\n

them.<\/p>\n

6.\tBe a team player with your support<\/p>\n

system \u2013 like a football player shows<\/p>\n

up for the game, whether he is 1st<\/p>\n

string or 2nd string \u2013 he is prepared.<\/p>\n

7.\t Be prepared for mood swings \u2013 have a<\/p>\n

plan for when they happen (especially if<\/p>\n

it means you have to go to the hospital).<\/p>\n

8.\tBe productive \u2013 even if you can’t work<\/p>\n

outside the home, start a home business,<\/p>\n

or do volunteer work. At least do those<\/p>\n

things around the house that you can do.<\/p>\n

9.\tUse your skills and gifts to benefit others.<\/p>\n

This is the best way to keep from feeling<\/p>\n

sorry for yourself.<\/p>\n

10.\tBe a part of your own recovery. Be your<\/p>\n

own watchdog \u2013 look for mood shifts,<\/p>\n

patterns, and signs and symptoms of an<\/p>\n

episode).<\/p>\n

What do you think?<\/p>\n

Do you agree with me?<\/p>\n

What would you say to the man who sent me that email?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Hi,<\/p>\n

How’s it going for you today?<\/p>\n

I hope it’s a good day for you.<\/p>\n

I have a friend who goes to a 12-Step program, and he said they have a saying:<\/p>\n

“Be a part of your own life.”<\/p>\n

I think that’s cool.<\/p>\n

But I can definitely relate it to bipolar disorder, because I’ve run across people who aren’t.<\/p>\n

For example,<\/p>\n

Continue Reading<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nDealing With Bipolar? Be a Part of This - Bipolar Supporter Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"http:\/\/www.bipolarsupporter.com\/bipolarsupporterblog\/dealing-with-bipolar-be-a-part-of-this\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Dealing With Bipolar? Be a Part of This - Bipolar Supporter Blog\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Hi, How’s it going for you today? I hope it’s a good day for you. I have a friend who goes to a 12-Step program, and he said they have a saying: “Be a part of your own life.” I think that’s cool. But I can definitely relate it to bipolar disorder, because I’ve run across people who aren’t. 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