{"id":2309,"date":"2009-11-11T10:09:49","date_gmt":"2009-11-11T14:09:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bipolarcentral.com\/bipolarsupporterblog\/?p=2309"},"modified":"2009-11-11T10:09:49","modified_gmt":"2009-11-11T14:09:49","slug":"bipolar-she-thinks-i-cant-know","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.bipolarsupporter.com\/bipolarsupporterblog\/bipolar-she-thinks-i-cant-know\/","title":{"rendered":"Bipolar?  She Thinks I Can&#8217;t Know"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Hi,<\/p>\n<p>How&#8217;s it going today?<\/p>\n<p>I hope your day is going well.<\/p>\n<p>I had a discussion with another supporter at the support group recently.<\/p>\n<p>Well, I call it a discussion.<\/p>\n<p>She might call it a fight.<\/p>\n<p>She was telling me what it was like to live with her husband \u2013<\/p>\n<p>In other words, to live with someone who has bipolar disorder.<\/p>\n<p>I made the mistake of saying, &#8220;I know how you feel.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>I was just identifying with her.<\/p>\n<p>I just wanted her to know she wasn&#8217;t alone.<\/p>\n<p>I wanted to tell her that I had been there, too, and how now things are going really well with<\/p>\n<p>my mom.<\/p>\n<p>I wanted to encourage her.<\/p>\n<p>I wanted to do a lot of positive things, but she took everything the wrong way.<\/p>\n<p>When I said, &#8220;I know how you feel,&#8221; she got very angry!<\/p>\n<p>I sure didn&#8217;t expect that response!<\/p>\n<p>She threw me off guard.<\/p>\n<p>I was just trying to help, but apparently she didn&#8217;t want any help.<\/p>\n<p>Or was it my fault?<\/p>\n<p>Let me finish telling you about it, then you can help decide if this was my fault or not.<\/p>\n<p>Ok, so I said, &#8220;I know how you feel.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>She started yelling at me things like:<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;You aren&#8217;t me, how could you know how I feel?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;You don&#8217;t know my husband, how could you know how I feel?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;You don&#8217;t know what I have to live with day to day, so how can you know how I feel?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>At that point I answered back, because YES, I DO know how she feels when it comes to supporting someone with bipolar disorder.<\/p>\n<p>If you&#8217;re a supporter to a loved one with bipolar disorder, then you  probably know how she<\/p>\n<p>feels as well.<\/p>\n<p>I talk about living with a loved one who has bipolar disorder in general in my courses\/systems:<\/p>\n<p>SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?<\/p>\n<p>Visit:<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.bipolarsupporter.com\/report11\">http:\/\/www.bipolarsupporter.com\/report11<\/a><\/p>\n<p>SUPPORTING A CHILD\/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?<\/p>\n<p>Visit:<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.bipolarparenting.com\">http:\/\/www.bipolarparenting.com<\/a><\/p>\n<p>HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?<\/p>\n<p>Visit:<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.survivebipolar.net\">http:\/\/www.survivebipolar.net<\/a><\/p>\n<p>I kept trying to talk to this woman reasonably and rationally.<\/p>\n<p>I told her I did understand how she feels, because I am a supporter, too.<\/p>\n<p>No, I admitted, I don&#8217;t know her or her husband or their situation.<\/p>\n<p>But I don&#8217;t have to, to be able to relate to it.<\/p>\n<p>There are some things that are just in common for all supporters of a loved one with bipolar disorder.<\/p>\n<p>For instance, I had to deal with a lot of anger in the beginning.<\/p>\n<p>So I felt anger.<\/p>\n<p>I also had to learn to deal with frustration, resentment, and even depression at times when I was<\/p>\n<p>dealing with my mom.<\/p>\n<p>Have you felt these feelings, too?<\/p>\n<p>Most supporters have.<\/p>\n<p>I learned that you can&#8217;t make long- term plans without having a Plan B.<\/p>\n<p>You&#8217;d like it if your loved one could be predictable, but they&#8217;re just not, unfortunately.<\/p>\n<p>This woman was so angry at me, almost offended, I think, that she wouldn&#8217;t listen to any of my<\/p>\n<p>argument.<\/p>\n<p>So let me ask you?<\/p>\n<p>Do you think one bipolar supporter can understand another supporter without knowing all the details of that person&#8217;s life?<\/p>\n<p>In other words, do you think I was right or wrong in what I said to this woman?<\/p>\n<p>What&#8217;s your opinion?<\/p>\n<p>Have you ever had this said to you?  How did you feel?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Hi,<\/p>\n<p>How&#8217;s it going today?<\/p>\n<p>I hope your day is going well.<\/p>\n<p>I had a discussion with another supporter at the support group recently.<\/p>\n<p>Well, I call it a discussion.<\/p>\n<p>She might call it a fight.<\/p>\n<p>She was telling me what it was like to live with her husband \u2013<\/p>\n<p>In other words, to live with someone who has bipolar disorder.<\/p>\n<p> <a href=\"http:\/\/www.bipolarsupporter.com\/bipolarsupporterblog\/bipolar-she-thinks-i-cant-know\/\" class=\"more-link pull-right\" rel=\"bookmark\">Continue Reading<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v21.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Bipolar? 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