{"id":2174,"date":"2009-09-16T07:40:54","date_gmt":"2009-09-16T11:40:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bipolarcentral.com\/bipolarsupporterblog\/?p=2174"},"modified":"2009-09-16T07:40:54","modified_gmt":"2009-09-16T11:40:54","slug":"bipolar-supporter-this-separation-is-important","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.bipolarsupporter.com\/bipolarsupporterblog\/bipolar-supporter-this-separation-is-important\/","title":{"rendered":"Bipolar Supporter? This Separation is Important"},"content":{"rendered":"

Hi,<\/p>\n

I hope you’re doing good today.<\/p>\n

I want to share a comment that was posted on my blog recently.<\/p>\n

Andrew says:<\/p>\n

“It must be a dismal existence<\/p>\n

simply to wait for the next storm<\/p>\n

or to have forgotten or put aside<\/p>\n

the things about a person who has<\/p>\n

bipolar disorder \u2013 what makes<\/p>\n

defines them as a person.<\/p>\n

How sad, and totally unnecessary. And even sadder that some people choose to live there.<\/p>\n

I have bipolar disorder, but I came to the doctor\/therapist with a whole being, a soul, and a presence that this condition cannot\/did not erase!<\/p>\n

I refuse to be a walking cluster of symptoms, a label, an apology, a dull recording of the misfortunes I have experienced.<\/p>\n

Bipolar disorder is a condition I have. It is not my name (i.e., I am not “a bipolar,” I am not bipolar.”) I HAVE bipolar disorder. It is nothing more than the name the psychiatric professionals chose to describe my experience of the condition.<\/p>\n

The other wonderful effect of separating the label\/condition from the person is that it holds each of us responsible for who we are and what we do. I have some good character traits and others<\/p>\n

that are not enviable. I refuse to let bipolar disorder take any credit or blame for those things.”<\/p>\n

————————————————-<\/p>\n

First of all, Andrew makes an excellent point about the difference between BEING bipolar and HAVING bipolar disorder.<\/p>\n

That’s one thing I really preach about, especially in my courses\/systems, where I talk about the difference between the two:<\/p>\n

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?<\/p>\n

Visit:<\/p>\n

http:\/\/www.bipolarsupporter.com\/report11<\/a><\/p>\n

SUPPORTING A CHILD\/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?<\/p>\n

Visit:<\/p>\n

http:\/\/www.bipolarparenting.com<\/a><\/p>\n

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?<\/p>\n

Visit:<\/p>\n

http:\/\/www.survivebipolar.net<\/a><\/p>\n

But let me backtrack and comment on some of the other things he said.<\/p>\n

In the beginning of his comments, he talks about “waiting for the next storm.”<\/p>\n

I can totally relate to that.<\/p>\n

I used to call my mom’s episodes “the storm.”<\/p>\n

She would yell and yell at me when she was in an episode, so bad that it was like this huge storm.<\/p>\n

And, like this man describes, my dad and me were always waiting for the next “storm”<\/p>\n

to explode from my mom.<\/p>\n

That was before she became stable, of course.<\/p>\n

But after that he says, “\u2026or to have forgotten or put aside the things about a person who<\/p>\n

has bipolar disorder \u2013 what makes defines them as a person.”<\/p>\n

That’s what I wanted to talk to you about today:<\/p>\n

Separating your loved one from their bipolar disorder.<\/p>\n

It is SO important that you be able to do this.<\/p>\n

Supporters who cannot separate their loved one from their disorder can end up feeling angry and<\/p>\n

resentful toward their loved one.<\/p>\n

Then they can feel guilt and shame for feeling those negative feelings on top of it.<\/p>\n

They might even begin to stress out or feel anxiety over it.<\/p>\n

Or even get depressed over it.<\/p>\n

And all of this is unnecessary\u2026<\/p>\n

If they could just separate their loved one from their bipolar disorder.<\/p>\n

Now, in no way am I saying that this is an easy thing to do. I know that it isn’t.<\/p>\n

But I think if someone had told me what I’m telling you, and if I had done it back when I was<\/p>\n

living with my mom, a lot of my problems could have been eliminated.<\/p>\n

One way you can separate your loved one from their disorder is to keep in mind what they are<\/p>\n

like when they are “normal,” or between episodes.<\/p>\n

But let’s get back to Andrew’s comment before I go, because I really like the way he ended<\/p>\n

his comment.<\/p>\n

He said, “The other wonderful effect of separating the label\/condition from the person is that it holds each of us responsible for who we are and what we do.”<\/p>\n

That means that your loved one, being separate from their disorder, cannot blame the disorder for what they say\/do.<\/p>\n

They have to take responsibility for their behavior.<\/p>\n

Have you been able to separate your loved one from their bipolar disorder?<\/p>\n

How have you done it?<\/p>\n

Has it made it easier for you to deal with things?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Hi,<\/p>\n

I hope you’re doing good today.<\/p>\n

I want to share a comment that was posted on my blog recently.<\/p>\n

Andrew says:<\/p>\n

“It must be a dismal existence<\/p>\n

simply to wait for the next storm<\/p>\n

or to have forgotten or put aside<\/p>\n

the things about a person who has<\/p>\n

bipolar disorder \u2013 what makes<\/p>\n

defines them as a person.<\/p>\n

Continue Reading<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nBipolar Supporter? This Separation is Important - Bipolar Supporter Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"http:\/\/www.bipolarsupporter.com\/bipolarsupporterblog\/bipolar-supporter-this-separation-is-important\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Bipolar Supporter? This Separation is Important - Bipolar Supporter Blog\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Hi, I hope you’re doing good today. I want to share a comment that was posted on my blog recently. 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