{"id":2097,"date":"2009-08-12T08:54:05","date_gmt":"2009-08-12T12:54:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bipolarcentral.com\/bipolarsupporterblog\/?p=2097"},"modified":"2009-08-12T08:54:05","modified_gmt":"2009-08-12T12:54:05","slug":"what-not-to-say-during-a-bipolar-episode","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.bipolarsupporter.com\/bipolarsupporterblog\/what-not-to-say-during-a-bipolar-episode\/","title":{"rendered":"What NOT to Say During a Bipolar Episode"},"content":{"rendered":"

Hi,<\/p>\n

Hey, how\u2019s it going today?<\/p>\n

You know, I get a lot of emails and calls asking me some of the same questions, and so those are the ones I try to write to you about.<\/p>\n

One of the questions I get asked about most often is what to say and what NOT to say to your loved one when they’re in a bipolar episode.<\/p>\n

I got asked this by one woman especially one time, because she said that everything she said seemed to be the wrong thing, that everything seemed to make her husband mad at her.<\/p>\n

Well, maybe you feel the same way.<\/p>\n

Maybe the same thing is happening to you.<\/p>\n

If so, know that this is a common thing that happens when someone who has bipolar disorder goes into an episode.<\/p>\n

So how do you know what to say and what NOT to say then?<\/p>\n

I can tell you from my own experience with my mom, as well as from what I’ve learned from talking to other supporters and what they’ve written to me and told me.<\/p>\n

For example, you should never tell your loved one in an episode that you know how they feel.<\/p>\n

This is one comment that can make them angry at you.<\/p>\n

The truth is that you do not have bipolar disorder, so there is no way that you can truly know how they feel.<\/p>\n

It would be better if you said something like:<\/p>\n

\u201cI can understand that you might be feeling [ ] right now\u2026”<\/p>\n

And insert a word like frustrated, or angry, or resentful, or hurt, or whatever feeling you have noticed or think that your loved one may be feeling.<\/p>\n

This way you\u2019re acknowledging their feelings, but you\u2019re not antagonizing your loved one, either.<\/p>\n

Especially if you stay calm and say it in a soft voice.<\/p>\n

You’re showing your support and understanding, but you’re not assuming anything either, which is what makes them mad at you.<\/p>\n

In my courses and systems, I talk about the negative feelings that your loved one may feel during a bipolar episode, and how you can know what they are, so that you can be supportive of your loved one during these times.<\/p>\n

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?<\/p>\n

Visit:<\/p>\n

http:\/\/www.bipolarsupporter.com\/report11<\/a><\/p>\n

SUPPORTING A CHILD\/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?<\/p>\n

Visit:<\/p>\n

http:\/\/www.bipolarparenting.com<\/a><\/p>\n

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?<\/p>\n

Visit:<\/p>\n

http:\/\/www.survivebipolar.net<\/a><\/p>\n

Another thing you should never say to your loved one during an episode is, “You could just snap out of this if you wanted to,” or something along those lines.<\/p>\n

I know you can get really frustrated waiting for your loved one to come out of their episode, but this is still not the right thing to say, even if you have to bite your tongue.<\/p>\n

I know I did, when my mom was in her episodes.<\/p>\n

I kept thinking things like, “If she loved me, she would stop this behavior,” or, “If she would just try harder, she could come out of this episode,” and things like that.”<\/p>\n

But I realized that she WAS trying, and that she was NOT doing this to me personally!<\/p>\n

If you say these things to your loved one, you’ll be making a mistake.<\/p>\n

These types of comments can truly make them mad (hurt them) because, well, think of yourself in their shoes.<\/p>\n

If it were you, don’t you think if it were that easy, that you would do it?<\/p>\n

It isn’t that easy. That’s why your loved one is struggling.<\/p>\n

You need to be more loving, supportive and understanding.<\/p>\n

Try saying something like:<\/p>\n

“I know this is a hard thing for you to be going through, but I just want you to know that I’m here for you.”<\/p>\n

Your loved one may say things like, “Just leave me alone!”<\/p>\n

Or even something as terrible as, “I hate you!”<\/p>\n

My mom did that, too.<\/p>\n

But you can’t take it personally.<\/p>\n

It’s just part of their bipolar episode.<\/p>\n

Have you ever found yourself in a situation when your loved one was in an episode and you felt like everything you said was the wrong thing?<\/p>\n

Have they gotten mad at you for it?<\/p>\n

What did you do?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Hi,<\/p>\n

Hey, how\u2019s it going today?<\/p>\n

You know, I get a lot of emails and calls asking me some of the same questions, and so those are the ones I try to write to you about.<\/p>\n

One of the questions I get asked about most often is what to say and what NOT to say to your loved one when they’re in a bipolar episode.<\/p>\n

I got asked this by one woman especially one time,<\/p>\n

Continue Reading<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nWhat NOT to Say During a Bipolar Episode - Bipolar Supporter Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"http:\/\/www.bipolarsupporter.com\/bipolarsupporterblog\/what-not-to-say-during-a-bipolar-episode\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"What NOT to Say During a Bipolar Episode - Bipolar Supporter Blog\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Hi, Hey, how\u2019s it going today? You know, I get a lot of emails and calls asking me some of the same questions, and so those are the ones I try to write to you about. One of the questions I get asked about most often is what to say and what NOT to say to your loved one when they’re in a bipolar episode. 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