{"id":207,"date":"2008-10-06T08:29:20","date_gmt":"2008-10-06T12:29:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bipolarcentral.com\/bipolarsupporterblog\/?p=207"},"modified":"2009-03-17T10:58:00","modified_gmt":"2009-03-17T14:58:00","slug":"caregiver-or-supporter-don%e2%80%99t-make-the-mistake","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.bipolarsupporter.com\/bipolarsupporterblog\/caregiver-or-supporter-don%e2%80%99t-make-the-mistake\/","title":{"rendered":"Caregiver or Supporter? Don\u2019t Make the Mistake"},"content":{"rendered":"

Hi,<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I hope you’re doing well today.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I have a ton of things to do today so <\/span> I really have to get going.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I have some great news. There is actually a person that I found who is a super programmer and will be very instrumental in helping us reach more people who are dealing with mental illnesses in general.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Anyway, this is a great news!<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Okay, let me ask you this question:<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Are you a caregiver or supporter?<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

You might ask me right back,<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

“Well, Dave, what’s the difference?”<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Because even in the many support groups that I volunteer at, I’ve heard both terms used inter- changeably. <\/span>But I do believe there is a difference. <\/span>When I think of a caregiver, I think of one of those people who help someone with a long-term illness, like cancer, who needs help with everyday things that they can’t do for themselves.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

In the world of bipolar disorder, that’s called enabling, however. Y<\/span><\/span>our loved one is not that ill. <\/span>There are many things <\/span>they can do for themselves, and these are things that you should NOT be doing for them. <\/span><\/span>For example, you can oversee to make sure your loved one takes their medication, but you don’t have to actually GIVE it to them (put it in their mouth), to make sure they take it. <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Your loved one isn’t an invalid, and you are not their caretaker. <\/span>You shouldn’t be their enabler, either. <\/span>You are simply their supporter. <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

In fact, if you do things for your loved one that they can do perfectly well by themselves, you can be doing more harm than good.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Part of their treatment is to learn to be productive again, and that means learning how to do things for themselves. <\/span>You shouldn’t interfere with this process.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Even if your loved one wants you to. <\/span>This is called dependency. <\/span>And they can become over-dependent on you, which is not good, either.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

This is another thing they should be learning in treatment, but if it gets too difficult for them, theymay revert back to the easy way \u2013 depending on you to take care of them.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

And there you are \u2013 right back in the circle of being a caretaker instead of being a supporter.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

In my courses\/systems, I talk about how you shouldn’t be an enabler and how not to be:<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?<\/span><\/p>\n

Visit:<\/span><\/p>\n

http:\/\/www.bipolarsupporter.com\/report11<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

SUPPORTING A CHILD\/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?<\/span><\/p>\n

Visit:<\/span><\/p>\n

http:\/\/www.bipolarparenting.com<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?<\/span><\/p>\n

Visit:<\/span><\/p>\n

http:\/\/www.survivebipolar.net<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I’m always talking about how knowledge is power. <\/span><\/span>Well, if you have knowledge about what being an enabler is, you won’t be one!<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Same as the difference between being a caretaker versus being a supporter.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

You want to be a good supporter, right?<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

And you want your loved one to get better, right?<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

In fact, you want your loved one to become stable, right?<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

And I’ll even do you one better. <\/span>I’ll bet you would love for your loved one to become high-functioning, wouldn’t you?<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Well, the way to do that is for them to learn to become independent. <\/span>And the only way to do that is if you become simply a support for them, and not a caretaker or enabler.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Now you know! <\/span>And now that you know, hopefully you won’t make the mistake that a lot of other supporters make.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME<\/span><\/p>\n

Visit: http:\/\/www.bipolarcentral.com\/testimonials<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide \u201cBipolar Disorder\u2014The REAL Silent Killer.\u201d Click Here<\/span><\/a><\/strong> to get FREE Information<\/strong> sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Hi,<\/p>\n

\n

I hope you’re doing well today.<\/p>\n

\n

I have a ton of things to do today so I really have to get going.<\/p>\n

\n

I have some great news. There is actually a person that I found who is a super programmer and will be very instrumental in helping us reach more people who are dealing with mental illnesses in general.<\/p>\n

\n

Anyway,<\/p>\n

Continue Reading<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nCaregiver or Supporter? Don\u2019t Make the Mistake - Bipolar Supporter Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"http:\/\/www.bipolarsupporter.com\/bipolarsupporterblog\/caregiver-or-supporter-don\u2019t-make-the-mistake\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Caregiver or Supporter? Don\u2019t Make the Mistake - Bipolar Supporter Blog\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Hi, I hope you’re doing well today. I have a ton of things to do today so I really have to get going. I have some great news. 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