Hi,<\/p>\n
How’s it going for you today?<\/p>\n
I hope you’re doing ok.<\/p>\n
I got an email from a man named Matthew that I need to share with you.<\/p>\n
He wrote me:<\/p>\n
“I know you support your mom who
\nhas bipolar disorder, so you may not
\nknow what it’s like from the inside out,
\nbut let me tell you, it’s really tough. I
\nhave good days, but then some days
\nare so bad it feels like I want to kill
\nmyself.<\/p>\n
I mean my wife is a pretty good
\nsupporter, but I think she loses her
\npatience with me a lot, because she can’t
\nsee the big picture. She only sees the
\nday to day, she doesn’t see what I will
\nbe after the long term. I still have a ways
\nto go, and I know it, but I’m really trying
\nhard to be the man she wants me to be,
\nbut I also have to struggle hard with my
\nbipolar too, you know?<\/p>\n
And that’s really hard. The medication his
\nside effects that make things hard for us as a
\ncouple and other things. We’re just not as close as
\nwe used to be, and that makes me even
\nmore depressed. If she could just be more
\npatient with me, I could maybe try harder,
\nif she could just see the way things will
\nbe and hang in there with me, I don’t thing
\neither of us would be so mad at each other
\nall the time, either. Has anyone else gone
\nthrough this?”<\/p>\n
———————————————————<\/p>\n
The reason I wanted to share this email with you is that I get a lot of emails just like
\nthis one.<\/p>\n
Matthew’s problem is not unique.<\/p>\n
It’s not unusual for someone with bipolar disorder to struggle in the ways that he describes…<\/p>\n
But it’s also not unusual for a supporter to struggle in the ways that he describes, either.<\/p>\n
One thing’s for sure, living with bipolar disorder, whether you have it or are supporting someone who does, is difficult at best.<\/p>\n
Let’s talk about some of the things that he describes.<\/p>\n
He says that his wife loses patience with him because she only sees the day to day him and not the him that he will be in the long run.<\/p>\n
Well, I’ll tell you right up front that loss of patience is only one of the negative feelings that it’s
\ncommon for a supporter to have.<\/p>\n
Nobody’s perfect.<\/p>\n
And supporters will experience negative feelings when dealing with a loved one who has bipolar
\ndisorder.<\/p>\n
In fact, I even talk about those in my courses\/systems, and how to deal with them.<\/p>\n
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
\nVisit:
\nhttp:\/\/www.bipolarsupporter.com\/report11<\/p>\n
SUPPORTING A CHILD\/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
\nVisit:
\nhttp:\/\/www.bipolarparenting.com<\/p>\n
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
\nVisit:
\nhttp:\/\/www.survivebipolar.net
\nIt’s hard to, as they say, “see the forest through the trees,” when you’re right in the middle of things.<\/p>\n
It seems like it’s also hard for Matthew to see his wife’s point of view, although he seems to be trying.<\/p>\n
For instance, he realizes that the side effects of his medications are at least one of the reasons
\nthat they are having problems.<\/p>\n
And that is a common problem.<\/p>\n
But they need to talk about it, and maybe his doctor can help with that as well.<\/p>\n
But here’s the point I want to make:<\/p>\n
Did you ever sleep under Grandma’s quilt?<\/p>\n
Or even have a Grandma who made a quilt?<\/p>\n
Even if you didn’t, most people have at least seen a homemade quilt.<\/p>\n
So picture this:<\/p>\n
If you look at the wrong side of the quilt…<\/p>\n
You see all the unmatched patches…<\/p>\n
All the uneven stitches…<\/p>\n
Things that look like they would never go together in a million years, right?<\/p>\n
But if you turn it over, you see a quilted “masterpiece.”<\/p>\n
You don’t see any of the things you see on the back, the errors, the patches, the bad stitches, any of the things it took to make that beautiful quilt.<\/p>\n
So all I’m saying to supporters is, take a lesson from that quilt.<\/p>\n
Your loved one isn’t going to become a bipolar “masterpiece” overnight. It’s going to take some time, some mistakes, some patience, and a whole lot of loving, just like Grandma put into that quilt.<\/p>\n
Of course, they will have to cooperate as well, allowing themselves to be “sewn,” but working together, the two of you can help your loved one to attain and maintain the stability that you want.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Hi,<\/p>\n
How’s it going for you today?<\/p>\n
I hope you’re doing ok.<\/p>\n
I got an email from a man named Matthew that I need to share with you.<\/p>\n
He wrote me:<\/p>\n
“I know you support your mom who
\nhas bipolar disorder, so you may not
\nknow what it’s like from the inside out,
\nbut let me tell you, it’s really tough. I
\nhave good days,<\/p>\n