{"id":1735,"date":"2009-05-09T08:29:02","date_gmt":"2009-05-09T12:29:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bipolarcentral.com\/bipolarsupporterblog\/?p=1735"},"modified":"2009-05-09T08:30:15","modified_gmt":"2009-05-09T12:30:15","slug":"bipolar-supporter-hope-you-aren%e2%80%99t-making-this-mistake","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.bipolarsupporter.com\/bipolarsupporterblog\/bipolar-supporter-hope-you-aren%e2%80%99t-making-this-mistake\/","title":{"rendered":"Bipolar Supporter?  Hope you aren\u2019t making this mistake."},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Hi,<\/p>\n<p>How it&#8217;s going.<\/p>\n<p>Guess what?<\/p>\n<p>A person on my team upgraded my blog system at www.bipolarcentral.com\/bipolarsupporterblog<br \/>\nand made it much easier for me to use every day and administer it. We have thousands of posts and it was getting out of control managing.<\/p>\n<p>Speaking of blog, I saw this post from someone:<\/p>\n<p>Dave: One thing that DRIVES ME<br \/>\nCRAZY when I am in an episode<br \/>\n(medicated even) is people asking:<br \/>\n&#8220;How are you doing?&#8221;, &#8220;Are you okay&#8221;,<br \/>\netc. I used to scream when I heard those<br \/>\nexpressions. A much better greeting for BP<br \/>\npeople (or anyone in therapy) is &#8220;Good<br \/>\nto see you!&#8221;, &#8220;I&#8217;m glad you are reading<br \/>\nthis and hope you are well today.&#8221; Some<br \/>\nof &#8220;us&#8221; feel like we are constantly bombarded<br \/>\nwith &#8220;ARE YOU OKAY&#8221; &#8211;  when the<br \/>\nanswer is NO &#8211; but I&#8217;ll make it with help.<br \/>\nNo we aren&#8217;t okay. No, no, no. So quit<br \/>\nasking. It just makes us question ourselves :&#8221;<br \/>\nARE we OKAY?&#8221;  &#8220;WHAT is okay?????&#8221;.<br \/>\nRegards!<\/p>\n<p>This is great advice.<\/p>\n<p>There is no need to ask are you okay a million times over.<\/p>\n<p>It does drive  people without bipolar disorder crazy and of course people with it crazy.<\/p>\n<p>You should be looking for the signs and symptoms and not have to ask. You can observe.<\/p>\n<p>Some of the better questions to ask might be:<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Honey, is there anything I can get you?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Or, &#8220;Is there something I can do for you?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Care to talk about it?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;I&#8217;ll just be here if you need anything.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>And that last one is the best one of all.<\/p>\n<p>Do you know why?<\/p>\n<p>Because it shows respect.<\/p>\n<p>You are respecting their space.<\/p>\n<p>You&#8217;re not bugging them.<\/p>\n<p>You&#8217;re giving them the right to be &#8220;not OK&#8221; by themselves, yet be there in case they do want to talk to you.<\/p>\n<p>That&#8217;s what many people with bipolar disorder want most of all.<\/p>\n<p>That&#8217;s what they consider support.<\/p>\n<p>I had one person with the disorder tell me one time:<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;She&#8217;s not my mother!  She&#8217;s not my babysitter!  I don&#8217;t need her hovering over me!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Your loved one doesn&#8217;t need you to act like their parent or to treat them like a child.<\/p>\n<p>In fact, the opposite should be true.<\/p>\n<p>Remember when I was teaching about being an enabler, like I do in my courses?<\/p>\n<p>SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?<br \/>\nVisit:<br \/>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/www.bipolarsupporter.com\/report11\">http:\/\/www.bipolarsupporter.com\/report11<\/a><\/p>\n<p>SUPPORTING A CHILD\/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?<br \/>\nVisit:<br \/>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/www.bipolarparenting.com\">http:\/\/www.bipolarparenting.com<\/a><\/p>\n<p>HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?<br \/>\nVisit:<br \/>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/www.survivebipolar.net\">http:\/\/www.survivebipolar.net<\/a><br \/>\nWell, the difference between an enabler and a supporter is that an enabler does things for the person that they can do for themselves&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>While the supporter treats their loved one with respect and understanding, and is just there for them, helping where they need to.<\/p>\n<p>Big difference, isn&#8217;t there?<\/p>\n<p>If you were your loved one, which would you want?<\/p>\n<p>Either way, you know it&#8217;s hard for your loved one to live with bipolar disorder.<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s even worse, like the man in the post said, to have people all the time asking you if you&#8217;re ok.<\/p>\n<p>Imagine if you just had an operation.<\/p>\n<p>And everyone just kept asking you if you were ok.<\/p>\n<p>They just wouldn&#8217;t leave you alone.<\/p>\n<p>You&#8217;d never get any rest.<\/p>\n<p>Well, that&#8217;s not even 1\/10 of what your loved one goes through.<\/p>\n<p>They just want to feel some sense of being normal.<\/p>\n<p>And if you don&#8217;t treat them like they&#8217;re normal, how can they expect anyone else to?<\/p>\n<p>You need to model the right behavior, set the good example.<\/p>\n<p>When someone asks you how your loved one is doing, it&#8217;s not wrong to say they&#8217;re doing fine, just as you&#8217;re doing fine.<\/p>\n<p>Because you&#8217;re loved one is doing fine, for someone with bipolar disorder.<\/p>\n<p>And you&#8217;re doing fine, for someone who is supporting a loved one with bipolar disorder.<\/p>\n<p>What do you think of what this man in the post said?<\/p>\n<p>Is what he said something that your loved one would say?<\/p>\n<p>Does your loved one feel like this man does?<\/p>\n<p>Hey, I have to run to the gym. It&#8217;s Saturday and today is the day that I have to do lots of cardio and other training<br \/>\nstuff.<\/p>\n<p>Have a great day and let me know what you think of what I wrote.<\/p>\n<p>David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide \u201cBipolar Disorder\u2014The REAL Silent Killer.\u201d  <strong><a href=\"http:\/\/www.hypertracker.com\/go\/Post\/BP_Kills_BlogAd\/\"><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Click Here<\/span><\/a><\/strong> to get <strong>FREE Information<\/strong> sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Hi,<\/p>\n<p>How it&#8217;s going.<\/p>\n<p>Guess what?<\/p>\n<p>A person on my team upgraded my blog system at www.bipolarcentral.com\/bipolarsupporterblog<br \/>\nand made it much easier for me to use every day and administer it. We have thousands of posts and it was getting out of control managing.<\/p>\n<p>Speaking of blog, I saw this post from someone:<\/p>\n<p>Dave: One thing that DRIVES ME<br \/>\nCRAZY when I am in an episode<br \/>\n(medicated even) is people asking:<br \/>\n&#8220;How are you doing?&#8221;,<\/p>\n<p> <a href=\"http:\/\/www.bipolarsupporter.com\/bipolarsupporterblog\/bipolar-supporter-hope-you-aren%e2%80%99t-making-this-mistake\/\" class=\"more-link pull-right\" rel=\"bookmark\">Continue Reading<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v21.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Bipolar Supporter? 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