{"id":1646,"date":"2009-04-15T09:38:45","date_gmt":"2009-04-15T13:38:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bipolarcentral.com\/bipolarsupporterblog\/?p=1646"},"modified":"2009-04-15T09:38:45","modified_gmt":"2009-04-15T13:38:45","slug":"bipolar-when-dealing-with-your-loved-one-dont-do-this","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.bipolarsupporter.com\/bipolarsupporterblog\/bipolar-when-dealing-with-your-loved-one-dont-do-this\/","title":{"rendered":"Bipolar? When Dealing With Your Loved One, Don’t Do This"},"content":{"rendered":"

Hi,<\/p>\n

How are things going for you today?<\/p>\n

I hope you have a great day!<\/p>\n

I got this email from a supporter the other day:<\/p>\n

“Dave, I thought I was a good supporter,
\nand I try to do the things you tell me to do in
\nyour emails, but my husband keeps going into
\nepisodes anyway. When I try to help him, he
\njust gets mad at me, and we end up fighting.
\nI think I’m doing the right things, but he won’t
\neven listen to me. I’m so sad and frustrated.
\nI just don’t know what else to do. I know it’s
\nall my fault. I must be the worst supporter
\nin the world. Deborah”
\n——————————————————-<\/p>\n

I’ve gotten many emails like this from supporters just like Deborah.<\/p>\n

Now, I’m not a therapist, psychologist, psychiatrist, or anyone like that, but I now how she feels,
\nbecause I went through it with my mom.<\/p>\n

I experienced all those feelings, too, and I didn’t know what to do.<\/p>\n

Until I developed my courses\/systems, other supporters didn’t know what to do, either:<\/p>\n

NEW
\nLEARN THE SECRETS OF THE MOST SUCCESSFUL WITH
\nBIPOLAR DISORDER?
\nhttp:\/\/www.bipolarsupporter.com\/bipolarmastersystem\/<\/a><\/p>\n

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
\nVisit:
\nhttp:\/\/www.bipolarsupporter.com\/report11<\/a><\/p>\n

SUPPORTING A CHILD\/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
\nVisit:
\nhttp:\/\/www.bipolarparenting.com<\/a><\/p>\n

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
\nVisit:
\nhttp:\/\/www.survivebipolar.net<\/a><\/p>\n

But let me address Deborah’s email directly, since so many supporters are going through
\nthe same thing.<\/p>\n

The biggest thing I sense is GUILT.<\/p>\n

And that is very common.<\/p>\n

And what I have to say to that is:<\/p>\n

IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT!<\/p>\n

You could be the ace, #1, absolutely BEST supporter in the world, but if your loved one refuses to do what they’re supposed to do for their OWN stability, then nothing you do is going to change that.<\/p>\n

Again, it is NOT your fault. It has nothing to do with you.<\/p>\n

It is THEIR problem, and not yours.<\/p>\n

Now, Deborah says that she follows what I say in my emails for supporters.<\/p>\n

But I also write emails for people who have bipolar disorder.<\/p>\n

And if her husband was doing what I told him to do in my emails to him, he would be listening to her, he would be doing what he needs to be stable, he wouldn’t be fighting with her, and he
\nsure wouldn’t be going into episodes, now would he?<\/p>\n

It sounds like Deborah is trying to do the right things.<\/p>\n

She is trying to help her husband.<\/p>\n

She is trying to be supportive.<\/p>\n

She is trying to get her husband to do the things he should do to stay stable.<\/p>\n

But you can’t force someone to do something that they don’t want to do.<\/p>\n

That’s where her frustration and sadness are coming from.<\/p>\n

But here’s the most important thing (and I hear this from so many supporters):<\/p>\n

Deborah is BLAMING herself for her husband’s bad bipolar behavior and lack of stability.<\/p>\n

You can tell, when she says, “It’s all my fault.”<\/p>\n

Well, I’m not a psychologist or psychiatrist, but it sure doesn’t seem like it to me!<\/p>\n

It seems to me like she’s trying everything she can to be supportive to her husband.<\/p>\n

How is it her fault that he won’t listen to her and won’t let her help him?<\/p>\n

He is an adult, and makes his own choices. He can choose to let her help him or not. He can choose to listen to her or not. He can choose to be stable or not.<\/p>\n

It is NOT her fault if he makes the wrong choices.<\/p>\n

“I must be the worst supporter in the world,” she says.<\/p>\n

But the very fact that she reached out to me and sent me that email proves that she isn’t!<\/p>\n

The fact that she is asking for help for her and her husband proves that she isn’t!<\/p>\n

Have you ever felt that way?<\/p>\n

Maybe you’re even in the same situation that Deborah’s in right now.<\/p>\n

What would you say to Deborah?<\/p>\n

What do you think she should do?<\/p>\n

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide \u201cBipolar Disorder\u2014The REAL Silent Killer.\u201d Click Here<\/span><\/a><\/strong> to get FREE Information<\/strong> sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Hi,<\/p>\n

How are things going for you today?<\/p>\n

I hope you have a great day!<\/p>\n

I got this email from a supporter the other day:<\/p>\n

“Dave, I thought I was a good supporter,
\nand I try to do the things you tell me to do in
\nyour emails, but my husband keeps going into
\nepisodes anyway. When I try to help him, he
\njust gets mad at me,<\/p>\n

Continue Reading<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nBipolar? When Dealing With Your Loved One, Don't Do This - Bipolar Supporter Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"http:\/\/www.bipolarsupporter.com\/bipolarsupporterblog\/bipolar-when-dealing-with-your-loved-one-dont-do-this\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Bipolar? When Dealing With Your Loved One, Don't Do This - Bipolar Supporter Blog\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Hi, How are things going for you today? I hope you have a great day! 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