{"id":1553,"date":"2009-03-26T08:32:42","date_gmt":"2009-03-26T12:32:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bipolarcentral.com\/bipolarsupporterblog\/?p=1553"},"modified":"2009-03-26T08:32:42","modified_gmt":"2009-03-26T12:32:42","slug":"is-this-true-about-david-oliver-and-bipolar","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.bipolarsupporter.com\/bipolarsupporterblog\/is-this-true-about-david-oliver-and-bipolar\/","title":{"rendered":"Is This True About David Oliver And Bipolar?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Hi,<\/p>\n

How’s it going?<\/p>\n

I saw this post on my blog the other day:<\/p>\n

Gloria writes:<\/p>\n

“Well Dave, YOUR partner doesn’t have
\nbipolar, its your Mom. Its totally different
\nwhen you live with it 24\/7 and you lose the
\nlove of your life. I don’t mean to be negative
\nand maybe because my husband beat me up
\nlast week going through his episode. He sure
\nis alot stronger than me and I guess maybe
\nits nice to pretend it didn’t happen but it did.<\/p>\n

He crashed two days ago, and I am thankful
\nbecause I don’t have to worry so much now.
\nGuess thats where the JOY comes in. I’m
\nsorry but right now, after being the
\nSUPPORTER for him for four years of
\nSEVERE depression and almost three of
\nCRAZY BIPOLAR, my nerves are SHOT.”
\n—————————————————–<\/p>\n

First let me say, Gloria, sorry to hear this. Secondly let me point out a few things to you
\nand all my readers.<\/p>\n

I DO know what it’s like to deal with a person with bipolar 24\/7. I lived with my mom when she was sick. I didn’t leave until AFTER she was well.<\/p>\n

I asked my dad to NOT be in the house the majority of the day so I would be the target and not him.<\/p>\n

If you have been on my list for a few years, you’ll remember, I didn’t think my dad’s heart could take the stress.<\/p>\n

My idea to you is that you have to regroup and come up with a different strategy.<\/p>\n

I don’t know your situation but I could guess these strategies would work:<\/p>\n

First of all, since you are so stressed out, you have to find a way to get your stress level down.<\/p>\n

Many supporters have found that taking a break helps. Some only need a short break, while others need a longer break.<\/p>\n

I’m talking about a break from your situation.<\/p>\n

I’m talking about actually leaving the house and making a plan outside of your house.<\/p>\n

It’s too difficult to make plans for the war, while you are getting shot at so to speak.<\/p>\n

In war, the plans are made generally when people are not taking incoming fire.<\/p>\n

Another suggestion is that you de-escalate and not escalate. This means that you
\navoid arguing at all costs. Agree with him (even if he’s wrong and you’re right).<\/p>\n

I have a couple I know who call this “agree to disagree.”<\/p>\n

There’s another couple I know who call it “Teflon.” Just let it slide off you. : )<\/p>\n

Just get by however you have to.<\/p>\n

Another trick is: Don’t take it personally. Ignore all personal attacks.<\/p>\n

When he’s yelling at you, practice this:<\/p>\n

HEAR, but DON’T LISTEN.<\/p>\n

I know, it’s sounds crazy. But with a little bit of practice, you can do it.<\/p>\n

You sort of “separate” yourself. You hear the words, but you don’t listen to the meaning of the words. You just sort of isolate yourself from the pain of them.<\/p>\n

See? That way you don’t get hurt by them.<\/p>\n

Here’s another thing about “isolating” that other supporters have found success with: you can try to “isolate” your husband from his bipolar disorder. You CAN hate bipolar disorder. But keep trying to keep him separate, or isolated from his disorder. This way you can still love HIM (not his disorder in him).<\/p>\n

These are like some of the techniques that I teach in my courses\/systems:<\/p>\n

NEW
\nLEARN THE SECRETS OF THE MOST SUCCESSFUL WITH
\nBIPOLAR DISORDER?
\nhttp:\/\/www.bipolarsupporter.com\/bipolarmastersystem\/<\/a><\/p>\n

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
\nVisit:
\nhttp:\/\/www.bipolarsupporter.com\/report11<\/a><\/p>\n

SUPPORTING A CHILD\/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
\nVisit:
\nhttp:\/\/www.bipolarparenting.com<\/a><\/p>\n

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
\nVisit:
\nhttp:\/\/www.survivebipolar.net<\/a>
\nOne important thing you need to remember that most supporters don’t, is to take care of yourself.<\/p>\n

Too many supporters get burnt out because they spend so much time supporting their loved one and too little time supporting themselves.<\/p>\n

Then, first thing you know it, they’re too tired and stressed out to be any good for anyone.<\/p>\n

Maybe you just need a break to recharge your own batteries.<\/p>\n

Make sure you’re getting enough rest and eating right. Make sure there is enough joy in your own life. Take care of yourself mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually.<\/p>\n

Then you can focus on your husband.<\/p>\n

It sounds like he needs help.<\/p>\n

Focus on getting him to treatment and making that your single focus.<\/p>\n

Many supporters don’t ever do this.<\/p>\n

If his stability isn’t both your goals, then it’s not going to happen.
\n—————————————————–<\/p>\n

What about you?<\/p>\n

Do you agree or disagree with what I told Gloria?<\/p>\n

What would you have told her?<\/p>\n

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide \u201cBipolar Disorder\u2014The REAL Silent Killer.\u201d Click Here<\/span><\/a><\/strong> to get FREE Information<\/strong> sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Hi,<\/p>\n

How’s it going?<\/p>\n

I saw this post on my blog the other day:<\/p>\n

Gloria writes:<\/p>\n

“Well Dave, YOUR partner doesn’t have
\nbipolar, its your Mom. Its totally different
\nwhen you live with it 24\/7 and you lose the
\nlove of your life. I don’t mean to be negative
\nand maybe because my husband beat me up
\nlast week going through his episode.<\/p>\n

Continue Reading<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nIs This True About David Oliver And Bipolar? - Bipolar Supporter Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"http:\/\/www.bipolarsupporter.com\/bipolarsupporterblog\/is-this-true-about-david-oliver-and-bipolar\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Is This True About David Oliver And Bipolar? - Bipolar Supporter Blog\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Hi, How’s it going? I saw this post on my blog the other day: Gloria writes: “Well Dave, YOUR partner doesn’t have bipolar, its your Mom. 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