{"id":147,"date":"2008-09-04T07:24:41","date_gmt":"2008-09-04T11:24:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bipolarcentral.com\/bipolarsupporterblog\/?p=147"},"modified":"2009-03-18T18:50:31","modified_gmt":"2009-03-18T22:50:31","slug":"honesty-after-bipolar-episode","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.bipolarsupporter.com\/bipolarsupporterblog\/honesty-after-bipolar-episode\/","title":{"rendered":"Honesty After Bipolar Episode"},"content":{"rendered":"

Hi,<\/p>\n

\n

I hope you’re having a good day.<\/p>\n

\n

Today I want to talk about what is, for most supporters, a very difficult subject:<\/p>\n

\n

What happens AFTER the episode, and how do I talk to my loved one?<\/p>\n

\n

I’ve been asked this question so many times in emails that I thought I should address it here.<\/p>\n

\n

One of the most important things you’re facing is your own fear of your loved one.<\/p>\n

\n

You’ve been through a lot because of the episode, that’s true.<\/p>\n

\n

They may have seemed like a totally different person to you (even if they’ve gone through episodes before, each one is different).<\/p>\n

\n

This episode may even have been a violent episode, and you may have been afraid for your life (this has actually happened to more than one of the people on my list).<\/p>\n

\n

You may be afraid to talk to your loved one because you have to tell them things you really don’t want to have to tell them.<\/p>\n

\n

You may have to discuss things like:<\/p>\n

\n

\u00b7 <\/span><\/span>Finances<\/p>\n

\u00b7 <\/span><\/span>D.ebts<\/p>\n

\u00b7 <\/span><\/span>Bills<\/p>\n

\u00b7 <\/span><\/span>Pending bankruptcy<\/p>\n

\u00b7 <\/span><\/span>An affair<\/p>\n

\u00b7 <\/span><\/span>Risky sexual behavior<\/p>\n

\u00b7 <\/span><\/span>Gambling<\/p>\n

\u00b7 <\/span><\/span>A car accident<\/p>\n

\u00b7 <\/span><\/span>Problems with your relationship<\/p>\n

\u00b7 <\/span><\/span>Problems with the family<\/p>\n

\u00b7 <\/span><\/span>Problems with the children<\/p>\n

\u00b7 <\/span><\/span>Consequences of your loved one’s<\/p>\n

actions during the episode<\/p>\n

\u00b7 <\/span><\/span>Strange phone calls<\/p>\n

\u00b7 <\/span><\/span>Your loved one’s behavior<\/p>\n

\u00b7 <\/span><\/span>Things your loved one said to you<\/p>\n

\u00b7 <\/span><\/span>Things your loved one did to you<\/p>\n

\n

And the problem is that they may not even remember any\/all of this!<\/p>\n

\n

Another problem is that you have to deal with your own feelings before you even sit down to talk with them.<\/p>\n

\n

Make sure you have yourself under control even before you sit down to talk with your loved one after the episode.<\/p>\n

\n

In my courses\/systems below I talk about POST-episode discussions and how to deal with them:<\/p>\n

\n

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?<\/p>\n

Visit:<\/p>\n

http:\/\/www.bipolarsupporter.com\/report11<\/a><\/p>\n

\n

SUPPORTING A CHILD\/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?<\/p>\n

Visit:<\/p>\n

http:\/\/www.bipolarparenting.com<\/a><\/p>\n

\n

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?<\/p>\n

Visit:<\/p>\n

http:\/\/www.survivebipolar.net<\/a><\/p>\n

\n

But YOU have to be together, because your loved one may not be.<\/p>\n

\n

They may just be coming out of the hospital, for one thing. <\/span>But you still have to have the discussion.<\/p>\n

\n

The most important thing is that you be HONEST with them.<\/p>\n

\n

Be honest about your feelings.<\/p>\n

\n

You are probably feeling very insecure right now.<\/p>\n

\n

Your world has turned upside down.<\/p>\n

\n

If the episode involved the police, well, that was pretty scary, and you need to talk about that.<\/p>\n

\n

If the episode involved violence in the home, you definitely need to talk about that honestly, because you don’t want that to happen again.<\/p>\n

\n

If your loved one treated you in any way that you do not want to be treated again (whether something they did or something they said), you have to make this clear to them, and you have to be honest about it.<\/p>\n

\n

If you are NOT honest, they will never know!<\/p>\n

\n

So the responsibility is on YOUR shoulders to tell them everything you are thinking and feeling about them and their episode\u2026<\/p>\n

\n

Everything that happened (because they may not remember it)\u2026<\/p>\n

\n

What you will tolerate\u2026<\/p>\n

\n

What you will NOT tolerate\u2026<\/p>\n

\n

How you want to be treated\u2026<\/p>\n

\n

What you want them to do\u2026<\/p>\n

\n

What you DON’T want them to do\u2026<\/p>\n

\n

What the both of you need to do together\u2026<\/p>\n

\n

What their treatment plan is going to be\u2026<\/p>\n

\n

How things are going to go from here\u2026<\/p>\n

\n

How things are going to be from now on\u2026<\/p>\n

\n

\n

Now don’t get me wrong. <\/span>I am NOT saying (so don’t send me any hate mail) that you should take over the relationship or anything.<\/p>\n

\n

I am NOT saying anything of the kind, so please don’t misunderstand me. <\/span>Your loved one is in a very fragile condition right after an episode.<\/p>\n

\n

They are probably feeling pretty insecure themselves right after the episode.<\/p>\n

\n

So it’s really important that you do all of the above things with a kind, loving, supportive, and understanding attitude.<\/p>\n

\n

Work things out together. <\/span>But be HONEST with them. <\/span><\/p>\n

\n

That’s the most important thing.<\/p>\n

\n

Otherwise, you’ll just keep your negative feelings bottled up inside you, and that will just lead to resentment, anger, and frustration that will just build from episode to episode\u2026<\/p>\n

\n

And you don’t want that.<\/p>\n

\n

So be honest with your loved one after their episode.<\/p>\n

\n

\n

\n

FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME<\/p>\n

Visit: http:\/\/www.bipolarcentral.com\/testimonials<\/a><\/p>\n

\n

David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide \u201cBipolar Disorder\u2014The REAL Silent Killer.\u201d Click Here<\/span><\/a><\/strong> to get FREE Information<\/strong> sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Hi,<\/p>\n

\n

I hope you’re having a good day.<\/p>\n

\n

Today I want to talk about what is, for most supporters, a very difficult subject:<\/p>\n

\n

What happens AFTER the episode, and how do I talk to my loved one?<\/p>\n

\n

I’ve been asked this question so many times in emails that I thought I should address it here.<\/p>\n

\n

One of the most important things you’re facing is your own fear of your loved one.<\/p>\n

Continue Reading<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nHonesty After Bipolar Episode - Bipolar Supporter Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"http:\/\/www.bipolarsupporter.com\/bipolarsupporterblog\/honesty-after-bipolar-episode\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Honesty After Bipolar Episode - Bipolar Supporter Blog\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Hi, I hope you’re having a good day. Today I want to talk about what is, for most supporters, a very difficult subject: What happens AFTER the episode, and how do I talk to my loved one? 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