Bipolar: What Can You Afford to Lose?

Hi,

You know, there are some things we can afford to lose in life. In recovery programs, for example, as well as in church, you can afford to lose your pride and ego. (In fact, it may happen whether you like it or not.) You can afford to lose your car if there are too many repairs needed for it, and buy another one. In other words, it’s not a life or death thing. At worst, you may have to get rides from people until your car is fixed, if you keep it. But still, you could afford to lose it. You can afford to lose some of your possessions, like if you have a yard sale, or donate to Goodwill or a church or other worthy organization.

But there are some things that you can’t afford to lose. For example, you can’t afford to lose your home, or else where would you live? You can’t afford to lose your job (unless you have another one lined up), because you need that income to live off. You can’t afford to wreck your credit, although too many people with bipolar disorder do. Then it’s a mess trying to establish your credit back again.

Your loved one can’t afford to lose your support. Your support is invaluable to them, as it helps them to deal with their bipolar disorder. Your loved one can’t afford to lose their commitment to take their medication. If they lose that commitment, it could lead to going into a bipolar episode, or worse, it could take their life! So they definitely cannot afford to stop taking their medication. They can’t afford to lose their doctor, psychiatrist, therapist and any other member of their treatment team, either. Because these people help them as much as you do. Your loved one cannot afford to lose sleep, either. Because loss of sleep is one of the biggest triggers to a bipolar episode.

And what about you? You can’t afford to NOT take care of yourself, because your loved one and family need you. You can’t afford to lose your self-esteem and self-respect. These are very important to anyone to have, whether they are dealing with bipolar disorder or not. Your self-esteem and self-respect are how you feel about yourself. And you need to feel good about yourself. Some supporters suffer in this area, because they believe that their support is directly related to their loved one’s bipolar disorder.

In other words…If their loved one isn’t doing well, or goes into an episode, they blame themselves. They think negatively. They believe that since their loved one isn’t doing well, that it means that they’re not a good supporter. But that isn’t true. The struggle for bipolar stability falls outside your responsibility as a supporter. You can be the best supporter in the world, and your loved one will still go into episodes. Going into episodes is just part of their bipolar disorder, and is no reflection on you as a supporter. You also can’t afford to lose your peace of mind. You need to stay as stress-free as possible.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

 

Dave

 

  1. Thanks so much for the uplift.. When my grandson isn’t doing well I blame myself as I must not be good for him. But when I think of who could do a better job, no one wants it. I will continue being supportive and remember to take care of myself. Thank you

  2. I think you’re right–that a person with bipolar disorder may go into episodes no matter how good a supporter he/she has. In fact, he or she may have many episodes no matter how faithful, intelligent, caring his supporter(s) may be. And the supporters should not beat themselves up every time a new episode occurs. If this were an easy disorder to deal with, the pdocs would have had a hell of a lot more success in dealing with this disorder than they have had.

  3. My sister has died as a result of her decision to stop her dialysis and the service was the 14 th. of this month . She had a generous heart when she could show that to others. She suffered from the age of 12 to 59 .She was. On dialysis for about 10years. She came to faith in God, in 1976 .This was of some help for a short time.She had been on lithium for probably about 10years as well until her kidneys showed signs of calcification. It was a means to keep her from thinking of suicide. Which is why she had been given that medicine. The dialysis kept her alive but her life quality went down from a lack if being able to do very much. I am sharing this because she suffered with the schizophrenic life for many years.In spite of that she did love her family dearly, what I miss about her is the normal life that she never really had as as a teenager. Yet she corresponded with many ladies who talked with her and kept up in letters for many years. She did her best to try to share her life with them in letters. She would buy baby things for the local unwed mothers ministry not being able to be a mother herself this was her way of showing love to the little ones.

  4. As I was washing My Daughter’s Hair this good friday. I had an epiphany it was as if My own Daughter kicked me in the face and then turned around and said “before I kick you again”. Now you know I would never advocate children abusing adults but let’s be honest sometimes we exasperate them, annoy them and sometimes instigate stuff so as Parents we would deserve that!!!! a kick in the face from our own child instead I’m counting my blessings because I’ve never had to kick my own mom because there’s a secret that truly works — THE LOVE A MOTHER HAS PARTICULAR FOR A DAUGHTER – SHE TAKES YOU THROUGH BAD RELATIONSHIPS WITH MEN who might have been kicks in the face, JOBS that dropped you and never pick you up!, AND EVEN UNFAITHFUL FRIENDS and why should this surprise us – for even Satan posed as a “Friend”.

    Chicken Soup for the Soul
    Home
    I will forever be in love with a man that I met that encourages me to read because he submitted a most beautiful story.

    The Secret
    From Chicken Soup for the Soul: The Magic of Mothers and Daughters

    I WOULD RECOMMEND THIS BOOK ON ONE OF THOSE DAYS WHEN THE COLD IS TOO MUCH TO BEAR AND A SWEET DAUGHTER WANTS TO “GO HOME TO MOMMY” THE WARMTH AND SWEET PARADISE ISLAND AN EAGER MAN WOULD HOPE TO FIND. WE ALL CAN!

    IN THE MEANTIME, WE WILL CONTINUE TAKING OUR MEDICATION UNTIL DEATH CAN REUNITE US WITH THIS NORTHERN WARMTH OF UNCONDITIONAL LOVE CALLED “A REAL MOTHER”

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