Bipolar Disorder? Don’t do this or else

Hi, how’s it going for you? I hope you’re doing ok.

I’ve been thinking about something, and wanted to share my thoughts with you. It’s about what happens when you try to accomplish too much too fast. Think about it.

When you try to accomplish too much too fast, you are just setting yourself up for failure, because you’ll never be able to do it. It can also get very frustrating and discouraging for you.

Also, if you don’t know how long something should take, you can start to think it’s taking too long.

For example, after an episode. It could take up to a year to fully “fix” the after-effects of an episode. Like the financial ruin – you can’t fix a bankruptcy in just two weeks! But some people think you can just do it overnight! We don’t rush the stroke victim or even the cancer victim, why do we rush the victim of bipolar disorder? Thinking that they should be over an episode after just a week or two is just plain unrealistic expectations sometimes. Would we have that same expectation if they were getting over a physical illness? Then why are we expecting it from a bipolar episode?

There are certain things in life that take a certain amount of time to happen. It’s just the way it has to be. Think about things in nature.

Like the butterfly – it starts off as a caterpillar…then it goes into a cocoon… and only after a certain period of time does it metamorphose into that beautiful butterfly! It just doesn’t happen overnight. And if you interrupt it at any point in the chain of events, the whole thing would be ruined! Some things just can’t be rushed. Other things just have to take place in a certain order. And still other things have to take place at a certain time.

Wanting your loved one who has bipolar disorder to get over their episode overnight is like wanting them to be that beautiful butterfly without going through the cocoon phase! Some things are just worth waiting for. You just have to be more patient sometimes. And I know that isn’t easy, because it wasn’t easy for me.

Sometimes it takes time for your loved one and their doctor to find the right medications for them to be on. It definitely takes time for your loved one to make the changes they learn about in therapy. But as long as they are making strides toward stability, you can be encouraged that someday they will reach it.

Yes, it will take patience on your part. But it will be worth it in the end.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

  1. Dear Dave,
    I hadn’t realised how long it would take for my daughter to recover from her episode until Rachel did indeed recover: but wait a minute that didnt mean she was back to the old “Rachel” She has changed in all sorts of ways.Rachel is like someone who has suffered a stroke or had a life threatening sickness (they aren’t the same when ther recover either.)All these changes in my daughter I had to learn painfully and slowly but as you said Dave – I had to learn patience and Rachel wasn’t the only one who has had to learn new ways of doing things. There is a long journey in store for any supporter of a loved one with Bipolar, its not easy: but it is so worth it: I have learn’t so much about myself as a result-thank you Dave your emails are always informative.
    regards

  2. Dear Dave and all readers, Lynn here, ‘real’ alcoholic; also living w/Bipolar, ODAAT. We don’t ‘recover’ from alcoholism; A.A. teaches that we live it, ODAAT. It’s a disease, that’s why. Diabetes or high blood pressure doesn’t just ‘go away’; you have to treat it w/meds, etc., again, ODAAT. It’s been my experience, too, that taking my meds religiously, ea. day, helps me have stability. I’ll get a new shrink next mo.; I pray that it’s a good match. Happy New Year [and New Decade!!] everyone!!! KEEP COMIN’ BACK, CUZ THIS THING WORKS!!
    Lynn S.

  3. Hello,question for you,my wife has been diagnosed with bipolar,I suffer from extreme depression and anxity and fibromyalgia,How can I be an effective supporter to her when I have my own issues to deal with.I love my wife with all my heart,but she thinks i should be able to focus on her issues 24-7 when its hard enough for me to concentrate on just getting out of bed because i hurt so much and face a day i know is going to be hard,I would die for my wife but I just dont know what to do at this point any suggestions HELP!!!!!!!!!! Eric Simon

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