Hi,

I need to talk to you about something serious. I got an email from someone that says that so much of what I say is incorrect. That doesn’t bother me, because I know it isn’t true. Then the person says that they just want to be heard. Ok, a lot of people say that. I don’t mind that.

Then the person says how hard it is to live with bipolar disorder and that I don’t understand and it’s the worst. So then I had to ask myself, Is this person a bipolar cry baby like someone who has
bipolar disorder said to me? I mean, talking about your problems is one thing. Even a little complaining might be ok. But there are forums for that – like your support group. Or even your friends or family.

But too much complaining might be considered being a cry baby. Think about it – if someone comes to you and cries on your shoulder about their problems, you probably don’t mind, do you?
But if they go on and on and on about them (especially if you can’t do anything about them),
you might consider them a cry baby.

Is your loved one a problem solver or a bipolar cry baby? Do they come to you and complain about all their problems? About things you (or they) can do nothing about? And, if they do, how does it make you feel? So, you don’t want to be that way, do you? You don’t want to be a bipolar cry baby, I know you don’t.

So what’s the alternative? I know I’ve told you this before, but it bears repeating. You have to learn to be a good problem solver. One way to do this is to list out all your problems. Then you start listing out all the possible solutions, from the simplest to the most impossible, however
you brainstorm them.

Someone told me, “the impossible just takes a little longer.” I like that. That’s a good attitude to have. Now, I’m not saying that all these ideas are going to work, or even that you’re going to find
your solution the first time that you try this technique. But at least you TRY to find a solution,
instead of “crying” about it! And if you keep trying, I bet you WILL find a solution.

The important thing is that you become a problem solver instead of a bipolar cry baby, like that person said. So you make this list of options, of possible solutions. Then you go through these options, or possible solutions, and you see which ones are do-able, or which might work for you.

These are the ones you will try. And among these possibilities, you will probably find the solution to your problem. Isn’t this better than crying about it and doing nothing positive to solve it?

One person told me, “If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the problem.” Good advice, I think.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave