Hi,

Unfortunately, they aren’t going so well for one person who wrote to me. This is what they wrote:

“Dave,
Please remove me from your mailing list. I hate to have to ask you, as I have gotten so much good information from you, but my sister who had bipolar disorder killed herself last week.

She had decided that she was “cured” from her bipolar disorder and had stopped going to see
her psychiatrist and therapist and wouldn’t go to her bipolar support group any more. She even stopped taking her medications, saying that she didn’t need them any more.

We (the rest of her family and me) tried to convince her that it was her medication that was making her feel so much better, but she just wouldn’t listen to us.

She went into a deep depression, telling us that we would all be better off without her, and that
life just wasn’t worth living, and all kinds of things like that. We all tried to tell her how much we loved her and that it was the bipolar disorder that was making her think like that, but like I said, she just wouldn’t listen.

I just don’t understand. How can this disorder be so deadly? Why aren’t more people aware of how devastating an illness this really is? What could I have done differently? Is there anything I could have done to stop her? That’s what’s really bugging me. That there’s something I could have done to stop this from happening. That there’s something I should have done but didn’t. That way my sister would still be alive. Somehow I think it’s my fault. Dave, is it my fault? What should I have done?
–John”

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This is a horrible tragedy. A needless tragedy. But, unfortunately, one I hear about all too often.
Did you know that statistics say that 1 in 5 people who go off their bipolar medications will kill themselves?

Michele, who works for me, her sister did the same thing, and she came to me with the same plea, “Is there something I could have done to stop her?” I get asked that question a lot.

There is so much guilt that the family and loved ones are left with after the person with bipolar disorder commits suicide after going off their medications. That’s one of the biggest reasons I preach so hard for people to stay on their medications, no matter how much they want to go off them. The chances are just too great (1 in 5) that they will kill themselves.

Is there something that John could have or should have done to stop his sister from killing herself? Unfortunately, we can’t control anyone else – we can’t stop them from doing what they will inevitably do.

In Michele’s sister’s case, her sister waited until she knew no one would be there to stop her, and that’s when she did it. She planned it. She did not want to be stopped.

The thing is that suicide is not the result of a rational mind. When someone with bipolar disorder decides to kill themselves, they are not thinking clearly. So there is nothing you can do to stop them. If they were thinking clearly, they would hear your pleas that you love them and want them to live and get better. They would understand that they are sick and need help.

But, unfortunately, bipolar disorder is a deadly disease, and without medication, it can fool the person into believing all kinds of things, just like it fooled John’s sister into believing that she was “cured” and didn’t need the medication any more.

If your loved one has been talking about going off their medication, show them this post. Do whatever you have to do to convince them to stay on their medication. You don’t want to have to face this all-too-common tragedy.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave