Hi,
You know, when parents raise their children, they always tell them to do their best. It’s a value that we receive and hopefully pass on to our own children and we try live by it ourselves. When I used to have a lawn service, it didn’t matter whether it was the lowest paying customer or the highest paying customer. I always did my best. I couldn’t do it with my mom, though, because I didn’t have the right “tools” (like I did for my lawn care business). Still, knowing my mother’s story and mine, you might be thinking that I did the best I could with what I had to work with.
And that’s kind of you. But still I wish things had been different than they were back then.
People who have Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder struggle with the idea of doing your best, unfortunately. They can be such a perfectionist that it interferes with their lives. Or their work.
Or their relationships. I know, because I’ve done research on this, and talked to people who have the disorder. So you actually have an advantage. You don’t have a mental illness, so you don’t have to try to be a perfectionist in everything you do. Especially when it comes to dealing with your loved one. No one expects perfection from you, so don’t expect it from yourself. You can only do the best you can do with bipolar disorder. Otherwise, you will stress yourself out. And that’s something that you really don’t need.
You know how to be a good supporter. You have information that I didn’t have. Just from these blog posts you should be learning information that will help you. But if you’re doing your best to be the best supporter you can be, but your loved one goes into an episode anyway, just remember that it’s not your fault. It’s not your fault that they have bipolar disorder, and it’s not your fault when that disorder exhibits itself in your loved one. Some supporters beat themselves up over it.
Don’t be one of those people. Just do your best. That’s all that is expected of you. You are not perfect, and you can’t expect to be, especially when it comes to bipolar disorder.
It’s not because of anything you do or don’t do that your loved one will go into an episode. You could be doing everything right…And they will still go into a bipolar episode. You might get confused and try to undo what you’ve done…Thinking that somehow you inadvertently caused your loved one to go into their bipolar episode. But that’s not what happened. They will go into an episode just because they have bipolar disorder. It’s just the nature of the disorder, and has nothing to do with you.
You know how to be a good supporter to your loved one. So just do the best that you can. Nobody expects any more from you than that. There is no such thing as perfect when it comes to bipolar disorder.
Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave